It's All Downhill From Here
by accidental murder
Summary: AU/AH "I'm taking a leap of faith, is that okay?" I asked, smiling against his lips. His smile only widened and he didn't even voice his answer. It was already in the way that he was kissing me.
1. The Beginning

There was a moment when I would do anything for Stefan. When my love for Stefan was greater than imaginable, greater than any love I've ever had. There was also a time when it was me and him against the world. I don't know what made me change my mind. What made my morals blink away and my life alter completely. Maybe it was the look in Damon Salvatore's eyes when I pulled away from kissing him. Maybe it was the thrill of possibly getting caught. I don't know when I fell for him, but I knew it wasn't easy and it never will be.

"_Come over later." He almost pleaded, his bright blue eyes misting over with a hopefulness I hardly ever saw. This wasn't supposed to happen. I should be running home to Stefan, not to his darker, sexy brother. I had gone against_ _everything that anyone's ever told me about cheating and lying, and yet it felt so right. _

"_Stefan will be expecting me." I knew Damon never liked when I mentioned Stefan, or when he was ever talked about in general, but I think saying his name was a sort of wake up call. Reality needed to be set in but in never felt like it would. I should be running home to her boyfriend of many months but instead I was lounging around some high end apartment belonging to his brother. I could see the sadness take over his face for the smallest moment before his blank expression completely took over him. His 'I don't care' façade. _

"_Stefan should learn how to share." Damon stated, rolling over on the bed so that he could look up at the ceiling. I knew he was joking in his sick twisted way, so I threw a line back. _

"_I think it's you who should learn how to share." I stated. This was slightly true. Okay, it was truer than it was a joke. Damon Salvatore has probably never shared anything in his life. I was not his. I was Stefan's. Figuratively that is. Physically, I felt like I was Damon's, I felt like he could give me more than Stefan ever could, but mentally, my mind was still attached to the perfect life I could have with Stefan. _

"_You're completely right." Damon rolled on top of me, our half naked body's brushing kindly against each other so that he could cup my face in his hands and I could bring mine to his bare waist. "I want you all to myself." _

"_That sounds amazing." I whispered as he brushed soft, feathery kisses along my face. He pulled back after I had spoken so that he could look at me curiously. _

"_Then why can't I have what I want? There's no doubt you want it to. Why are you resisting? Why do we always have to cover it up? Look, we both know what this is and it's more than just sex. I feel more than that and you do too." _

"_You know why this can't work, Damon, I've said it time and time again." I sighed, knowing Damon could never get this through his thick skull. I blamed it on the ego. It was too big to hold anything in that mind of his. _

"_You've said it but I still don't understand it." _

"_Damon, what we have- You're right. This is more than sex. What I feel is so much more than just a simple affair. I'm still with Stefan because I still love him. There's still something I have with him that I can't just throw away on a whim." I said. I knew this was selfish. I knew I was an awful person. I roped in Damon when I could have been content with Stefan. I hated myself for it, truly, but I was in too deep now. This was more than a mistake. _

"_Why can't you just take a leap of faith? I love you, Elena. There's no one else, I only want you." That made me slightly uncomfortable but nothing with Damon was comfortable. Except his bed. _

"_I want to but I'm scared." I finally voiced. These were words that were locked in my head for weeks. I was so afraid of losing both or either of them that I couldn't even choose. If I ended things with Damon than I knew he'd never come back for me. He'd never stick around town. He'd drown himself in booze and sorority girls. But if I broke up with Stefan and things didn't work out with Damon (because I knew this would be tricky) then I'd lose them both. "I know that I'm falling in love with you, but this is all so complicated."_

"_Look, Elena. I need you to choose. I can't pretend that I'm not stabbing my brother in the back every second that I'm with you. I can't pretend it doesn't bother the hell out of me when you're with him. I need you to choose. Me or him?" I think that was the hardest decision I'd ever been told to make. It was one brother or the other. The bad boy, the unpredictable charming, witty man behind the curtain or the safe, kind, compassionate man in the spot light. Damon or Stefan. _

"_Damon, I don't know-" But the look that he had on his face when he moved off of my body and stopped touching me told me everything was okay. _

"_I'm not making you decide right now." Damon said quietly and I knew he was thinking. Something in that cocky, arrogant mind of his was brewing. "I'll know you're choice tonight. Come home to me and you break it off with Stefan. Go home to Stefan, and we're done." He stood and that told me that I needed to go now, to let him think hard about everything that was said this morning. I rolled out of bed, removing his shirt that I'd thrown on late last night. I searched for my clothing on the floor, pulling my jeans up my legs and pulling my sweater over my head. I knew he was watching me. I could tell that all he wanted to do was be with me. Tonight I had to break someone's heart. I turned towards him and scurried over to him. I pressed the sweetest of kisses on his lips before turning and leaving the house. _

_Stefan was waiting for me when I got to our little home in the middle of town. Our house was too big for the two of us. There was one two many bedrooms, one two many bathrooms and a kitchen that seated five instead of two. His home, our home was too big for just the two of us. Damon's apartment was perfect. One bedroom, one bathroom one large living room with a kitchen attached to it. It was made perfectly for Damon and I. It was compact, yet still luxurious and spacey. _

"_So, how was your sleepover with Caroline?" Stefan asked casually, leaning against the counter. I sneaked up to give him a peck on the cheek. "Is she still recovering from her break up with Matt?" _

"_They were together for a long time, she feels crappy but she's doing better." I lied fluently. That seemed to be a talent. I would lie often to Stefan and it'd sound so normal and he'd buy the whole thing. _

"_Yeah, I'll bet. That's too bad; they were good for each other." Stefan gave a shrug then moved towards me for a second. _

"_You smell sweaty." Stefan commented, brushing a hand through my messy hair. _

"_Yeah, well, Caroline likes to work out when she's depressed." I felt so bad about lying to him. But I'm sure he'd rather hear lies than the truth. Instead of going to the gym with Caroline I was having wild sex with your brother. That's always sweet to say to your boyfriend of a year and three months. "I'm going to hop into the shower. Will you be here when I get out?" I asked, wondering how long he'd be staying in the house for._

"_I have time to make you breakfast before my meeting at 11:00." Stefan said, and I ran up the stairs to make my shower quick. When I got back downstairs, pancakes were served and Stefan was sitting at the table waiting for me. _

"_I'll be home around five; work is really slow so Damon and I don't have much to do for Dad." The name sent shivers up my spine. _

"_I might be later; I have a few errands and a couple people to see." I replied, eating one of the pancakes. _

"_Okay, well, I'll see you tonight." He kissed me on the forehead and I closed my eyes briefly. "Love you." He said before leaving out the front door. _

"_Yeah." I said to the closed door._

_It was five o'clock now. I knew both Stefan and Damon were sitting at home waiting for me. I knew I was going to lose one brother tonight, one way or another. So I sat in my car in between me and Stefan's house and Damon's apartment crying my eyes out. This was harder than I thought. I'd busied myself with stupid chores all day. Going out to get things I didn't need, seeing people I didn't have to. I could hear the light tapping of rain on my windshield but I didn't bother look up. My forehead was planted firmly on my steering wheel in a grocery store parking lot, my tears falling onto the wheel and my lap. _

_No one else knew about Damon and I. No one knew that I was secretly in love with my boyfriend's older brother. I had no one to consult to about this. If I told Bonnie, she'd hate me for doing that to Stefan, because nothing irked her more than Damon Salvatore. If I told Caroline, she'd blab to the entire town without even meaning to. If I told Jenna, she'd judge me immediately. Telling Jeremy or Matt or Tyler or even Alaric, I had no clue as to how they'd react but I'm sure everyone except Ric would tell me to stay with Stefan. I was alone with this. _

_I knew though. Deep down I've always known but it just didn't occur to me until I looked up at the gloomy sky. I started the car and drove in the direction of me and Stefan's home. The rain had pounded harder and as I stepped out o the car, my body was instantly soaked. It took half a minute to reach the steps, fumble with my keys and finally enter my house. _

"_Elena, oh, you got caught in the rain, you must be freezing." Stefan said, appearing from the living room to study me. _

"_Just a little." I gave a weak smile. "I think I need a warm shower." I said, inching up the steps. _

"_Elena?" Stefan called after me. "Are you okay?" _

"_I'm fine." I smiled, walking up to the bathroom for the second time today. When I finally made it back downstairs I was in warmer clothes. A dark wool sweater and thick black leggings. I looked towards Stefan as I took the seat across from him on the couch. _

"_Stefan, I need to tell you something." I confessed, looking up at him sadly. I knew I'd probably cry while explaining everything to him. While telling him how I've been fooling around with his brother for the past few weeks. He turned his gaze towards me and off whatever paperwork he was holding. "I haven't been a good girlfriend to you." I stated. "I've done something that I shouldn't have and I'm so sorry." The tears began. _

"_What are you talking about?" Stefan asked. _

"_I've been having an affair." That was the nicest way the words could possibly have left my mouth. "I'm so sorry, and I know how disappointing that is because you're such a great man." _

"_Who?" Stefan looked angry but I could tell he was trying to keep his cool for the neighborhood's benefit. _

"_It's Damon." I whispered. That was probably the worst flash of emotions I'd ever seen in anyone's eyes. I saw sadness, and anger and just plain fury cross his face. But his reaction was calmer than he truly was inside. _

"_I forgive you. You made a mistake. I understand." Stefan said softly. _

"_No you don't. You don't because I don't want to be forgiven." I stated. "He told me to choose. You or him. Stefan, I don't want to be with you anymore, I love Damon." I said. It felt as if a weight was lifting off my shoulders but Stefan just looked aggravated. _

"_Don't make that mistake, Elena. Damon can't offer you what I can. Damon can't love you back." _

"_But he does." I said. "Damon may not be as perfect as you but he does love me." _

"_Damon's fucked up." Stefan said bluntly. "So much has made him a wreck. You don't mean what you're saying; Damon isn't right for you, Elena, don't you see that?" Stefan said, and his tone was turning from soft, to angry to scary. I looked towards the hallway where my bags were packed. _

"_It's too late. You didn't do anything wrong, I hope you don't blame yourself." I said, standing and walking towards the door. "I love you, I just love him more."_

"_Don't walk out on me, Elena!" He yelled. It startled me but I picked up my bags and opened the door. "You're making a mistake." He called after me, but his words were lost in the slamming of the door. _

_It took me seven knocks for him to finally open the door. He looked surprised. He wasn't expecting me to choose him. I saw the bottle of whisky on the counter and his button up was open so I could tell he'd already started losing himself. _

"_Elena." Was all he said. _

"_Damon." I said. I didn't know what else I could say. At the moment I was speechless. He looked towards my bags and the brightest of smiles appeared on his face. He pulled them out of my hands, tossing them beside the door and yanked me inside, pulling me hard against his chest for a bruisingly passionate kiss. _

"_What are you doing here? You shouldn't have chosen me." He told me in between kisses and it made me laugh. _

"_I'm taking a leap of faith, is that okay?" I asked, smiling against his lips. His smile only widened and he didn't even voice his answer. It was already in the way that he was kissing me. _

I would marry Damon Salvatore, Mystic Falls' resident jerk in two days. One of the most eligible bachelors in town who didn't think marriage was necessary was going to be my husband and I would be his bride.


	2. The Wedding

The moon had disappeared. The large yellow orb had washed over the night sky and discarded of all its dark contents. I stared out the window on the opposite side of my room, examining the changing sky. It was almost morning, almost time to wake up, yet I sat, wide eyed on our bed watching the night turn to day. I heard the door creak open and turned my head to the two pairs of eyes that peaked through the crack. Bright blue eyes that were two shades darker than Damon's and brown eyes that engulfed the pupil in its darkness. I sat up against the headboard as Bonnie and Caroline moved inside the room, coming to sit at the edge of the bed. They both looked tired, no make up on and hair in messy buns.

Caroline gave a sheepish smile and I already knew why they'd come to see me so early on my wedding day.

"Are you nervous?" She asked, and I shook my head. I actually wasn't nervous; I was excited to finally be Mrs. Damon Salvatore. Bonnie's eyes were glued to mine and I knew what she was going to tell me before she even opened her mouth. She had that unnerving look on her face.

"Elena, I want to tell you something." She started, but I sighed and let her continue. "You know what I think about Damon, he's egotistical and selfish and unkind, but he loves you. I want you to be 100% sure this is what you want. I want you to make sure it's Damon you really love. I don't want my opinion to influence any of your decisions, but you know how good you were with Stefan."

I looked up at her hard, and Caroline shrugged nervously out of my view of Bonnie. "I love Damon more than I ever loved Stefan and I'm going to marry him, whether you like him or not." I told her.

"Elena, we were never doubting that. As your bridesmaids we know how much you love Damon, we just want you to be positive that you want to spend the rest of your life with him." Caroline tossed in, looking at me wearily.

"I'm a thousand times positive." I smiled and so did the two girls. I was glad that they were looking out for me, but I was slightly offended that they undermined my wanting to marry Damon.

"Well, then we need to get ready." Caroline said excitedly. "Take your showers girls; it's going to be a long day." Caroline stood, grabbing Bonnie's hand and skipping out the door with her, shutting it neatly behind her.

I analyzed the ring on my finger. I swear Damon had picked out the most expensive ring at the jewelers with the biggest rock. It was beautiful; it was so like Damon to buy me something so out of this world.

"_I have a bone to pick with you, Miss. Gilbert." Damon said, walking into our bedroom where I was shedding my clothes in order to find something to wear to our date tonight. Damon froze at the door, admiring my black panties and strapless bra. _

"_And what's that?" I asked, putting my hand on my hip in curiosity. _

"_Um." Damon frowned. "I forgot." He stated. I waited for a few seconds as he ran his eyes up my body again. "Wait for it." He racked his brain for another few seconds then smiled when he'd remembered what he was going to say to me. I was slightly appreciative that I could make him forget anything just by standing in front of him. "You told Jenna about that time in her bathroom, when we…" Damon's sentence wandered off. _

"_Yes, and?"_

"_You made me look like a complete idiot in front of your Aunt and my best friend today." He said, removing his shirt so that he could change as well. _

"_Well you are a complete idiot, so." I shrugged, raking through the dresses in my closet. Damon was standing behind me, reaching over top of me to remove a shirt from the rack above my clothes. He stopped whatever he was grabbing at to make a hurt face. In a quick motion, he lifted my tiny body up and threw me on the bed, jumping on right after me and hovering over my face. _

"_Take that back, I refuse to be verbally abused in my own home." Damon said, faking seriousness. _

"_Well, we can step outside if it'd make you feel better." I smiled up at him, my hand pressing lightly against his cheek. He smiled back at me. _

"_Nah. You're too cute when you're teasing." He bent his head down to press a sweet kiss to my lips but it instantly turned into more once I arched my back so that my chest touched his. "Maybe we shouldn't go out tonight." Damon suggested. _

"_Yes we should." He pressed kisses down my neck. "We never go out." _

"_Because this always happens." He said against my skin. "You look so appetizing that we barely make it out the door. And it always ends better than fine." Damon smiled and he nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck. _

"_Get off me." Elena sighed. "We're going out." _

_The restaurant just outside of Mystic Falls was dimly lit, a romantic setting in a quiet neighborhood. Damon never took me to popular places in town because he liked the quiet. Liked us to be alone without 15 million distractions or different people coming up and talking to us. I noticed that he does this thing where he zones out, but his eyes are always glued to me. He just stares at me like I'm the only thing in the world that matters. And maybe to him, I am. Damon doesn't like anyone. Maybe I am the only thing in the world that he can truly appreciate. I sat back in my chair as he stared at me. I was still telling him a story but I doubt his mind registered that I was still speaking. _

"…_she had no right to do that, right?" I asked him, knowing he didn't really care for conversation about Bonnie. _

"_What?" He blinked out of his blank state. _

"_Damon, I was talking for like, ten minutes." I complained, looking up as the waitress set down our plates. She was a pretty blonde girl who eyed Damon almost eagerly, her smile widening as he thanked her. I glared at him, raising an eyebrow as she turned to leave. _

"_And I was listening to you, baby." Damon shrugged. "I just tuned out when you mentioned Bonnie's name." _

"_I mentioned her name at the very beginning." I stated, nudging my salad around. I was slightly irritated because Damon had been slacking as a boyfriend lately. Well, he was always slacking as a boyfriend, but more so lately. He was very different from Stefan, and I'd known that all along but I thought some things would change once we were really dating. Damon always likes to touch me, whether it be my waist or my hand. He doesn't like kissing me in public, which Stefan always did. He never wants to go out and hang out with my friends unless I force him to. Stefan's friends were my friends. He barely ever does nice things for me besides the typical gentleman stuff like holding open the door. But I've noticed boyfriend Damon and normal Damon are very different people. Boyfriend Damon likes to hold my hand and whisper things in my ear. He likes to tell me he loves me and stay home and have sex for hours, while normal Damon just likes to drink his bourbon and make out with random women. _

"_Sorry." _

"_What's going on, Damon? You've been weird all week." I said, sipping my water and looking up at him. _

"_Nothing, can we just eat and go home?" He asked, looking down at his food. _

"_No. I'm tired of eating at some random restaurant and then going home. I haven't seen Caroline or Bonnie for a week and a half. I haven't talked to Jenna and Jeremy for a while. I'm getting tired of you keeping me in the dark." I stood but he put his hand on mine quickly. _

"_Wait." He panicked. "Just have dinner with me and I'll explain later?" He said, so I sighed and sat down, finishing my dinner without speaking a word to him. When the waitress finally brought the check, I opened it and laughed coldly. _

"_Melissa wants you to call her. Blondes have more fun anyways, don't they?" I said, pushing the check over to him and he set down a few bills. _

"_I'm not interested in Melissa, Elena. I love you, you know that, don't pretend like I don't." He said, sighing. "Hard candy?" He asked, pushing the candies over to me. I picked one up and unwrapped. It almost fell through my fingers before I realized what it actually was. There, in my hand, was the prettiest white diamond inside a silver band that I'd ever seen. I eyed the ring then looked back up at him. "I told you." He smirked, leaning back in his seat. _

"_Damon…" I didn't know what to say. This was why he was so weird; this is why he'd been quiet all night. He was nervous, that was so cute. _

"_Bonnie and Caroline have been avoiding you because I told Blondie I was going to propose, and she told Judgy, and they both couldn't keep their mouths shut so I told them to not see you for a few days so they wouldn't spill the beans. Jenna and Jeremy were in on it to, so they were avoiding you as well." Damon explained almost bored and I looked back down at the beautiful ring that sat in my hand. He leaned forward over the table to give me another smirk. "Elena Gilbert, will you marry me?" He asked. _

"_Damon, isn't this against everything you've ever wanted? You're Damon Salvatore, you're a womanizer, you've never wanted to get married." I stated. _

"_Until I fell in love with you." Damon said. I finally let a smile out and he sighed in what sounded like pure relief. _

"_Yes." He took the ring from me and slipped it on my finger smugly. He stood, grabbing my hand. _

"_Come on, I have days of sex planned." He joked, pulling me outside. The sad part was he was actually serious. Days of sex._

The sun was so bright I had to squint until I stepped under the ring of flowers at the end of the aisle. I could hear the music drift into a slow melody and I looked up to the altar. There, standing all pretty and cleaned up was Damon. I had already watched Bonnie walk down the aisle with Jeremy, Caroline with Tyler and Jenna with Alaric. There was no doubt Alaric would be the best man, and Jenna the maid of honor. When Damon's eyes found mine I almost lost it. In the afternoon sun, his eyes were extremely blue. He looked so crisp, so clean and I smiled at him, watching him smile back at me. The faces of so many people that I knew and loved were standing and smiling at me when I made my way down the white aisle. I walked slowly, though my excited steps quickened my pace, and soon, I was standing beside Damon. He leaned in, pressing his lips against my ear.

"You look beautiful." He whispered, leaning back. I smiled at him before turning to the Minister. The simple white dress with lace trimmings wasn't for me. The light makeup and curled hair wasn't for me either. I wanted to look perfect for Damon. I didn't care how I looked, and I knew neither did he, but I always wanted to look good because it felt almost impossible while standing beside him.

The ceremony was an hour or so long and all I really wanted to do was kiss him but I waited patiently, saying my vows, my 'I do's' and listening as Damon repeat the phrase back to me.

"And by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife." The minister smiled and Damon's gaze lowered to me. I just stared back at him barely hearing the last of the old man's words. "Mr. Salvatore, you may now kiss your bride." I almost bounced forward as Damon placed his hands on my cheeks and pressed a soft and passionate kiss on my lips. I could hear the ringing of cheers and claps in my ear but my mind barely registered that anyone else was in the room. It was just Damon and I. Damon and Elena Salvatore.

"Damon's a douche bag." Alaric started, and Damon shot him a glance that said: 'If this is the beginning of your speech, maybe you should sit down.' I smiled and placed my hand on Damon's, listening to the laughter of the crowd subside. "If anyone knows anything about him, it's that fact. I never thought I'd see the day when a girl worked his way into his mind and down to his heart like Elena did. I still don't understand how she tolerates him, because I'm his best and only friend and I can't." The crowd laughed again and Alaric looked over to Damon and I who were playing with each other's hands and gazing at each other. "Yeah, see, sometimes they do this thing where they shut out the entire world and only pay attention to each other, like right now." Alaric pointed towards us as if he was selling a product, enticing whoever was watching. I turned to look back at Ric and send him a smile, Damon following suit. "Elena. You are not only the best thing that happened to Damon… but the best thing that happened to me. I'm free of late night booty calls." The crowd laughed again. "No but really, Damon stopped calling me to pick him up whenever he was drunk. Elena, you look amazing tonight, and if I wasn't married to your Aunt, I might have called you up that night when you hit on me." Alaric winked and I laughed at the ridiculous scenario. "Damon: I swear to God if you let this one go, I don't know who will regret it more. You or me. You found a keeper, good luck on the rest of your life." Alaric lifted his glass saying cheers and side stepping Jenna as she walked past him to the podium, hitting him on the shoulder as she went. The clapping died down as she stepped up to the microphone and began her speech.

"I don't think I've ever met a couple as strange as the two of you." Jenna started, shooting us a smile. "You were two people who were not supposed to fall in love, but you did and I'm glad because you both would have regretted it somewhere along the road. I have witnessed every fight and fall to your relationship, but I've also witnessed the good times and those good times always outshined the bad times. I know that…" Jenna started to tear up and I had to look away or I might have cried. "I know that if your mother and father were here, they'd be so proud at how much you've grown up, 'Lena. You look so beautiful tonight and I've never seen you as happy as you are today." I wiped under my eyes and Damon rubbed my knee soothingly. "Damon, I know we've never really gotten along. I'm sorry for not really giving you much of a chance, because deep… deep… deep down, inside your bad boy exterior is a really sweet and kind person, and although no one gets to witness that, I can tell that my niece has. You're a good man, Damon. I'm happy to be apart of your lives together. I love you both." Jenna raised her glass and I leaned my head on my husband's shoulder.

"I love you." I whispered. Damon only smiled at me and stood, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the microphone. I blinked rapidly at the crowd, taking hold of Damon's hands as he leaned in to speak first.

"When I met Elena, she was madly in love with my little brother." I laughed when I heard a couple 'Way to go's' from the crowd and Damon grinned, shrugging a little. "I was in love with her the moment I saw her. We started some kind of strange affair thing." Damon paused. "Sorry Stefan." He shrugged. "I told her to choose between us. I knew it was probably one of the hardest decisions she's ever had to make, and I'm sorry, love." He turned to look at me apologetically. "She chose me, over one of the greatest people I've ever known. I still to this day don't know why, but God am I lucky." Damon smiled at me. "Elena, I love you more than I love myself. Which is a hell of a lot." I heard Alaric's agreement and giggled. "I want the rest of our lives to start right now." Damon concluded and I heard the applause of the crowd and it died when I stepped forwards.

"First of all I want to thank Jenna and Alaric, for being apart of our wedding, it means a lot to both of us. Thank you Caroline and Jeremy and Bonnie and Tyler, because I know I've been a pain in each of your asses and I know you're glad I'll be MIA for two months." I looked up at the ceiling almost expectantly. "Mom and Dad, I know you're there, so thank you for raising me for eighteen years. Even though I wasn't that great of a daughter, I love you both." I started tearing up but attempted to hold myself together, turning to look at Damon. "I will love you forever. And I know all odds are against us, and we really shouldn't have fallen in love, I'm glad we did because you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." I said. Damon leaned in to press a hard kiss to my lips and the crowd erupted into cheers and applause. That's when I knew. Damon and I would last forever.


	3. The Honeymoon

**My first attempt at smut. Ever. I hope it's not awful.**

* * *

><p>It took literally, hours of convincing for Damon to finally agree to take me out. We'd been stuck in the confines of the luxurious hotel room for three days now and I felt myself get dizzy every time I even walked close to the windows where streams of light penetrated through. There was no Caroline to call at inappropriate times of the day. There was no Jeremy to interrupt our alone time in order to throw his relationship problems at Damon. There was no Stefan to come home early from a business trip. We were free from everyone. Caroline understood the boundaries to our honeymoon. Jeremy finally committed to a relationship with Bonnie. Stefan fled town for the main offices of The Salvatore Company in New York City. Every tie I had to anyone back in Mystic Falls was put on hold or cut so that Damon and I could enjoy our only time truly alone.<p>

Now, I was standing in the middle of the elevator, Damon casually leaning against the mirrored walls, watching me press the button of the ground floor. Another couple entered the elevator a couple floors down and I made room, stepping off to the side towards Damon. It was an older looking man, approximately in his fifties and a girl around my age. The blonde woman eyed us, her gaze straying on Damon for a second too long before she turned her attention back to the man beside her.

I observed the two quietly, not even noticing as Damon wrapped his arm casually around my shoulders. She was beautiful, that was obviously, but her bright blue eyes were pounded with a bit too much make up and her clothes looked a bit too expensive. The large diamond on her left hand wasn't even close to the one on mine, but it was still extremely large. I watched as she giggled and leaned into the man's side, burying her face in his crisp suit. The man looked extremely tired, wrapping his arm around the young girl's waist.

I felt Damon lean in, his lips inches from my ear. I immediately averted my gaze and looked up at the floor numbers as they decreased slowly.

"It's not polite to stare." Damon whispered and I stifled a laugh, listening to the final ding of the elevator as if settled on the ground floor. The other couple left first, the clicking of the woman's heels audible from miles away.

"We're in Italy, staying in a hotel just off the beach, is it necessary to wear your most expensive clothes, shoes and piles of makeup?" I frowned, leaning slightly into Damon as we left the elevator, his arm still wrapped around my shoulders. Mine snaked around his waist as we walked towards the main doors.

"Don't judge, babe. They could have a very important gold digging meeting to attend." Damon smirked and I hit his chest playfully.

"Damon!" I scolded, not able to hide my own smile. "They could really be in love."

"Yeah."

"Hey, no one ever thought we'd end up together." I said, walking through the door that Damon held open for me.

"Caroline did." Damon shrugged, and I looked at him quizzically as we turned left towards the beach. "She told me far before you broke up with Stefan. She knew what we were doing; she just never confronted you about it because she was scared of how you might react."

"She knew this entire time? How?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Do you remember that night we had that dinner at Stefan's place?" Damon rubbed my back, letting go of me as we reached the beach.

"Of course."

_Stefan looked at me adoringly that night. His eyes never left me as he shifted to remove the heavy shirt he wore. I just lied still, knowing as much as I didn't want this at the moment, it was what had to be done in order for him to believe nothing was wrong. I could feel my bottom lip quiver indecisively as Stefan leaned down to press his full lips to mine. I reacted in a minor way, slightly moving my already half naked body against his, my lips stiff and my eyes squeezed shut. Stefan groaned into my mouth as our kisses slowed down and he removed his lips from mine in order to pull down my underwear. He paid no attention to the plain black bra that I had on and what was underneath as he slid his jeans down his legs and off of the bed. I opened my eyes, instantly connecting with his. _

_This had become a routine. I'd spend days having intense, passionate sex with Damon, then I'd spend a couple nights with Stefan, who seemed to like it better slow, because I found myself in the same predicament every Tuesday and Sunday night. Faking it. I know that made me extremely rude, and I was already the worst girlfriend ever but it's not like I could do anything else. So yeah, Damon was better in bed then his little brother. _

_I felt Stefan's desire press against my thigh and leaned my head back as if in pleasure to avoid Stefan's gaze. I didn't want him. We were naked, pressed up against each other, and I was imagining looking up into bright blue eyes and running my hands through raven hair. Instead, green eyes looked down at me, and my hands lay at my side or playing with my own hair instead of tangled in Stefan's blond locks. I was trying. I tried building up the desire in my body by doing was Stefan should have been. Playing with _my_ hair, biting _my_ lip, removing _my _bra, touching the peaks of _my_ breasts in attempt to make them hard. Stefan's tongue was swirling around my stomach, barely igniting my skin as I looked down at him. He finally freed himself from his boxers, tossing those to the side as well and positioning himself in between my legs. Our bodies didn't mold perfectly together. His hips were too wide to fit comfortably against mine. His head didn't fit properly in the crook of my neck. His hands didn't touch my body as he thrust upwards, burying himself deep inside my body. My eyes fluttered closed at the contact. Maybe I was a better actor than I thought because Stefan was buying everything. His movements were slow and awkward and I thought I might as well make the best out of the situation. My right hand snaked between our bodies finding the sensitive skin above where we were connected. I pleasured myself for what felt like extremely long minutes until Stefan's orgasm ripped through him. I doubt Stefan even noticed that I didn't cross the finish line with him. I offered a few moans which were mostly from my hand which was still playing between us. _

_I was too busy paying attention to myself to care that Stefan hadn't even used a condom, which he usually did. It was Damon who didn't bother. I felt Stefan's lips on my neck as I gave up and let my hand fall back to the bed sheets. I could hear grunts and groans still escaping his mouth as I moved my head to the side so that he could have some access to the rest of my neck. He finally slowed to a stop, withdrawing from me and collapsing on my body. Damon barely ever withdrew from me. He always paid attention to me. _

"_I love you." Stefan whispered, rolling off of me to lie on the bed beside me. I stared up at the ceiling. _

"_Me too." I did love him, he just wasn't enough for me anymore. _

"_So, I invited some people over for a little dinner party tomorrow." Stefan stated, and I looked over at him, raising one eyebrow. _

"_Yeah? Who?" _

"_Damon, Caroline, Bonnie and Tyler." Stefan said, and I almost smiled when he said his brother's name. _

"_Sounds like fun." I offered a smile. _

"_I think so. I'm hoping Damon and Caroline will hit it off. They've always had a clean friendship, Damon deserves someone like her." I almost laughed out loud. Yes, Damon and Caroline were friends but Caroline would never go after Damon after everything the two had done a couple years ago. They dated casually and they were just no good for each other. Plus, Damon's only real relationship was with me. _

"_I wouldn't count on it. And you might want Damon and Bonnie on opposite sides of the table because you know they don't like each other." I told him, sitting up, not even caring about my naked state. _

"_We'll see." _

_The next night, I sat quietly beside Stefan, across from Damon. I'd been avoiding Damon's flirtatious looks all night because I knew that if I actually looked at him, I'd probably melt. _

_I felt Stefan's hand high up my thigh and I felt feet touching mine. Damon. I looked across the table to see him smirking. Caroline looked over at him, uninterested at whatever conversation Bonnie, Tyler and Stefan were having. Damon looked over at her with a sly smile, his legs still tangled with mine. _

"_Um, Damon, how's work going?" She asked casually, offering me a short smile as I listened for the answer as well. _

"_Eh, it's okay. I don't like how much time I spend there though." Damon sent a look my way. Stefan's hand started twirling as he laughed at something Tyler said. I bit my lip to prevent myself from moving his hand off of my leg. Damon let his feet fall away from me and I looked back up to his eyes. Caroline gave a little smile before turning to talk to Bonnie again. _

"She came up to me afterwards with that look that she gets when she's got something on you." Damon removed his shirt as he lied down next to me on the blanket. He'd already stared me down as I stripped and now I was watching as he wrapped an arm around me, intertwining our fingers and hands. My pale pink strapless bathing suit felt barely there as Damon stared down at my olive skin.

"What did she say?"

"She said that she knew about us. That she saw the way I looked at you and that she was on to us." Damon looked into my eyes. "She said that she was rooting for me, because I deserved someone as good as you." Damon told me. I leaned forward, up to Damon to place a kiss on his lips.

"Caroline's right." I whispered against his lips, only to be treated with a smile. "I'm amazing." Damon gave a snort and rolled on top of me, shielding the sun from my body.

"You know what, maybe we should go back to the hotel. There's too many men looking at you out here." Damon said, looking around at the people around us. No one was looking at us because they were all too absorbed in their own lives.

"You're lying." I pushed at his chest playfully.

"Yeah, I kinda need an excuse to take you back to our hotel room and screw the hell out of you." Damon stated, rolling off of me. I stood, hooking my fingers into the side of the waistband of my bikini bottoms seductively. Damon raised an eyebrow and I looked back towards the hotel.

"I don't like salt water. Is that excuse enough?" Damon stood immediately, grabbing our towels and dragging me back to the hotel room.

"You're going to pull my arms out of their sockets!" I complained as Damon and I ran through the hotel lobby. As soon as the elevator opened, he pulled me in, waiting patiently for the doors to close before grabbing my face and pressing me up against the elevator walls. My lips found his eagerly. I've never made out in an elevator before.

His lips were urgent and he parted mine with his tongue, sneaking it into my mouth. Our tongues battled for a bit until he won, grabbing my backside. His hand fell from my butt to the back of my thigh, pulling my leg up to wrap around his body. I pulled away for air and he kissed all the way down my neck. I arched my body into his.

Ding.

Damon and I fell apart immediately and he grabbed my waist, pulling me to stand against his chest and I understood as soon as his desire hit my lower back. The family boarded, offering Damon and I a smile. The little girl looked up at us with large blue eyes and I smiled at her. The elevator finally reached our floor and we left quickly, nearing our door in a flash. As soon as I unlocked it I was pushed up against the wall, lips instantly assaulting my neck. He nipped at it until I pulled his lips back up to meet mine.

"Isn't sex better now that we're married?" I asked, collapsing with Damon on top of the bed. He starting pulling off my bathing suit top and we kicked our shoes off.

"I mean, you put in a little more effort and that's nice." Damon commented and I looked up at him.

"Are you saying I didn't put enough effort into it?" I stopped him from pulling of the bottoms to my two-piece.

"No, I'm just saying.."

"That I don't put enough effort in."

"I didn't say that!" Damon argued.

"Yes you did."

"Sometimes I wonder why I even talk around you." Damon said. I immediately flew forward and caught his lips in a bruising kiss, turning us over so that I was on top of him.

I didn't say anything else. I leaned down to kiss him, pressing my entire body into his as I straddled his waist. Damon's hands played with the flimsy material of my bikini.

"Babe, where did you say those handcuffs are?" I asked, pulling down his swim trunks easily. Damon raised an eyebrow.

"Those are not for you." Damon stated, his growing hardness counteracting his statement. I ground against his hips harder and Damon pointed towards the second drawer. I easily took the handcuffs and chained his hands together above his head.

"This isn't going to end well." Damon said, watching me remove my own bottoms then sitting back down on him.

"Nope." And in a quick motion, I had him inside of me. I remembered back to Stefan and our nights together. He always said that we were a perfect fit. Maybe Stefan didn't know what a perfect fit was because we weren't. Damon and I are. His hips are slim enough to fit perfectly against mine. His head fit perfectly in the crook of my neck. He even fit perfectly buried inside of me. Damon attempted to move his hands and realized that they were chained, so leaned his head back on them, enjoying the view. I moved on him quickly, although I would have been moving faster if Damon was gripping my waist like usual.

I felt the overwhelming pleasure hit both of us. I bent down, kissing and biting his chest. I could hear the moans coming from Damon's mouth and I looked up at him. His head was back against the pillow, no longer watching me, eyes shut tightly. As the final waves of pleasure burst through, I collapsed on top of him, allowing him to remain inside of me. Damon sighed, sated and I removed his handcuffs.

"See, that was plenty of effort." I stated, not moving for fear of loss of connection.

"Yeah…" Damon's voice carried.

"Fine then," I raised an eyebrow, feeling a sort of loss when he slid out of me. "then we'll have to try a few different positions."

Damon only laughed.


	4. The Baby

**Alright; sorry for the chapter delay. This was a difficult chapter to write because I didn't know how to ease it in. The pregnancy isn't supposed to be a big surprise because I'd had this planned from the very beginning. The ting about this story is that I can't see it having more then 10 chapters. But I can assure you there will be lots of drama and a lot of unexpected twists and turns that will make you sort of question the characters. Hope you like this chapter!**

* * *

><p>Alaric stirred as Jenna tickled his nose affectionately. He'd fallen asleep during our couples movie night. It was only halfway through Batman and he'd been so wiped from hanging out with the kids this morning. I'd grown to accept that everyone was moving on with their lives. Jenna and Alaric had two kids: Sam, who was five years old and her younger sister Kate who was two. They were amazing kids, I always loved coming over and playing with them. Both blonde with big blue eyes and pale skin. I dreamed of kids that beautiful. Alaric hit Jenna's hand away, causing her to giggle and snuggle in closer to him.<p>

I narrowed my eyes at Damon, who sat quietly beside me, his gaze fixated on the flat screen in the Saltzman's house. His arm was slung on the top of the couch barely touching me. I would have been offended, though before the movie started, he'd practically pulled me into his lap and laced out hands together.

Marriage was strange. Not only the concept, but the fact that I was married to Damon Salvatore. The fact that I'd chosen –who everyone thought was- the bad brother. I'd domesticated the wild beast that usually lurked just out of my reach. It'd been around three years that we've been married. I haven't seen much of a difference in our relationship, or a difference at all. I woke up every morning and looked into his blue eyes which our white bed sheets only illuminated. I'd kiss him several times until he finally let me go so that he could shower for work. I'd make him breakfast, usually chocolate chip pancakes, one always in the shape of a heart, because that was his favourite. He'd eat with me, reading the newspaper and I'd just admire his beautiful face. I'd walk him to the door of our quaint little home and he'd drop his suitcase in order to give me what is the best kiss of the day. He'd sometimes dip me over and twirl me into him, or he'd trace my bottom lip with his tongue. When I reminded him that his father was strict on what time he went to work, I'd straighten out his tie and give him one last kiss before watching him leave. Then, I'd look around the house to make sure everything was in order and I'd go upstairs to shower. I was slightly luckier than Damon because while his work started at 7:30, mine started at 9:00. When I was done showering, I'd leave to work at the Mystic Falls Inquirer, the only newspaper in town. I was one of the many editors in the building, sometimes doing journalism if I come up with a really great story that the boss likes. When I'd come home, Damon wouldn't be waiting for me because Giuseppe Salvatore releases him much later than I get off. So I either plan to go out for coffee with Caroline or Bonnie, or maybe hang out with Jenna and the girls (gotta love stay at home moms). When it's finally 10:00, Damon comes home tired and annoyed with some new story about how his father's a dick and Stefan's an asshole. He kiss me on the cheek and we'd make dinner together, or go out for dinner because Damon loves taking me out and flaunting me around now that we're married and I'm officially his and his only. After that, Damon would either pop by to see Alaric (I swear those boys act like they're married) or we'd have amazing sex. The latter is usually the case. Damon prefers lunch dates with Ric. Then the cycle would continue.

I wasn't exactly complaining. I'm head over heels for my husband and he loves me unconditionally but it's not a very exciting life. When I was young and Damon was a sexy, mysterious and dangerous older man it was fun fooling around and it was very exciting and suspenseful. So, yeah, life is slightly dull. Unless we're in bed.

Stefan is still an issue. After I'd broken up with him, he'd moved out to New York where a branch of the Salvatore's Company is located. He'd taken residence there and owns that location. We often get news from the big city, Stefan complaining or Stefan blaming Damon for not doing things. I guess I'm a little biased, but Damon works his ass off every day to please his father, the fact that Stefan can't respect that is below immature. Though I did cheat on him with his brother, so I guess he has a right to hold that grudge.

Damon shifted a little, pressing his lips against my hair. It was Sunday, which meant tomorrow, we both return to our boring jobs and tired mornings. I smiled lightly then drew my eyes back to the television screen which shook and erupted with explosions of fire. I'd seen the movie an obscene amount of times, so I knew every word, but that didn't make me hate it at the least. I loved Batman.

I heard Damon sigh and I knew he was getting bored. This man needed to be entertained every minute of the day, I swear. Jenna and Alaric were laughing about God knows what and kissing each other on the other couch when Damon leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"This is the last time we do one of these things." He stated, brushing a hand through my hair.

"Don't act like you and Alaric weren't the ones who planned this." I laughed, snuggling into his chest. He ignored that, eagerly waiting for the conclusion of the movie.

When it was over, we said our goodbyes and headed outside towards the car. It snowed lightly, the mid-December weather showing through the lights on the outside of the house. I skidded playfully down the drive way, Damon watching me quietly. A thought occurred in my head, one I'd never pondered before.

"I want some." I said vaguely, sliding up against Damon's flashy car. He looked at me questionably as he neared me.

"I mean, Elena, it's hardly the right setting, can you wait until we get home?" I knew it was sarcasm to cover up that he was extremely confused. The dark sky threw down more snow flakes and I pressed Damon up against the car lightly, his hands remaining in his pockets. I fixed my long winter jacket and pressed my glove-covered hands against his chest.

"I'm serious." I told him, staring up at him expectantly. He only frowned further.

"That's nice." He replied. "But about what exactly?'

"I want kids."

A handful of emotions crossed Damon's face, some of which I impressively caught. There was confusion, then surprise, then horror, then his blank stare.

"You want kids?" He asked me. "Now? Why?" He had that bored expression on and I knew he was only hiding his panic.

"We have the most pathetic lives, Damon. I want more." I said.

"Our lives aren't pathetic." He was hurt. "Am I suddenly not enough for you?"

"That's the exact opposite of what I'm saying." Damon takes things too seriously some times.

"Oh, so I'm not enough for you."

"Don't turn this into an argument, Damon. I want to have children with you; I want us to share human life. What's wrong with that?"

"I don't want to." He lied. I could tell he was lying. He just didn't want to fall in love again.

"Yes you do. You're amazing with Kate and Sam, they love you, Damon."

"They aren't mine." Damon said sternly. It hadn't even occurred to us that we were still standing in the driveway of my Aunt's house against his car at midnight.

"Why don't you want kids of our own?" I asked. Now it was my turn to be hurt. He was making having babies with me sound like hell.

"They're just another thing to worry about." He said it as if children were a job.

"That's ridiculous. Because you have so much to worry about now." I rolled my eyes in an irritated manner.

"Well, yeah. Elena, I worry about you every second of the day. I think of you constantly. Having a baby, I just… I already worry about you enough, and having a little girl or boy… I don't think I'm ready for something like that."

"So you don't want to have children with me." I restated. Damon gave a sigh and I knew he was finally going to say something of importance.

"Of course I do." He finally said. "I just think I'd be a crappy father. I mean, I'm already a crappy person." I closed my eyes briefly and let out a laugh. He stared at me out of annoyance.

"Don't laugh at me." I couldn't stop though.

"You're right you are a crappy person." I told him. He rolled his eyes, our intense discussion rolling to an end. "But…" I grabbed his hands out of his pockets. "You have a whole eight months to learn how to not be a crappy daddy." I placed his hands on my stomach, the evidence of my pregnancy not even affecting my body yet. His face lit up entirely, which was exactly the reaction I was looking for. He couldn't talk. He kept sputtering out meaningless words and couldn't speak a coherent sentence. He took a deep breath and attacked my lips.

"_What's your thing with condoms?" I rolled over to glare at Damon. "I mean, if you knock me up and Stefan thinks it's his, he's going to be determined to raise your bastard child." I joked. Damon gasped in mock surprise at my words, rolling me on top of him. _

"_I love you." He stated, as if that made sense in the conversation. _

"_Okay… thanks…" I frowned at the statement that I'd heard fall out of his mouth so many times. _

"_I think that if you love some one, nothing should ever separate you." _

"_How many things does that apply to?" I referred to Stefan. He ignored that though and just shrugged. _

"_But if it's what I wanted, would you wear a condom?" I asked. _

"_Do you want me to?" He answered my question with a question, a trait of Damon's that always irritated me. _

"_No." I shook my head slowly although I knew it was a stupid answer. _

"_Well, then." Damon rolled out of bed and I eyed him as he walk over towards the closet, completely naked. I'd seen Damon naked a countless amount of times but I was always taken aback by his perfect body. _

"_You'll catch flies, Elena." Damon smirked cockily at my gawking. I threw the blanket off at me, my entire body bare for him to see. "Oh, you're evil." He stared at me longer before hopping on top of me and peppering kisses all over the upper portion of my body. _

_I didn't even care that I'd be late for my anniversary date with Stefan._

At home, it took a while for Damon to find words again.

"How long…"

"Four weeks."

"Oh." Damon looked at the ground.

"Can we…" Damon started.

"Yeah." He flew off the couch he was sitting on to jump me again, his lips connecting with mine in a fit of passion. I was completely in love with the man in front of me, and now I was carrying his baby.

I'd given him the go on sex, so he easily picked me up and carried me to our all too familiar bedroom. Halfway through removing my clothing and giving me a hickey, Damon stopped.

"Shit. We're going to have the hottest baby around." He stated. I smiled as he brought his lips back to mine in a sweet kiss.

"Mhmm." I agreed against his lips.


	5. The Pregnancy

"That's disgusting." Damon sat on the barstool on the island in our kitchen, staring at me with the strangest look he's ever given me before. I was sitting on the floor in front of the fridge, my legs sprawled out and my hand in the peanut butter container. I pulled out the now covered carrot and looked over to him.

"I know." I said, taking a bite out of the carrot and lying my back on the floor, closing my eyes. I don't know why it tasted so good.

"Elena, it's three in the morning, can you come back to bed?" He asked. I popped open my eyes to find him leaning over me.

"Fine." I growled, sitting up and closing the container of peanut butter and throwing the carrot sticks back into the fridge. "But we're not having sex." I said, walking ahead of him towards the stairs. Damon clicked off the kitchen lights and sighed, following behind me.

"Why not?" He leaned forward and grabbed my butt, causing me to squeal and turn to face him.

"Uh, maybe because I'm eight months pregnant and a whale."

"Baby, you barely gained a pound." Damon said, walking up the steps behind me.

"Yeah, tell that to the scale. It's not happening Damon." I scoffed as we entered the room.

"So, what am I supposed to do for another whole month?" He asked, jumping on the bed and crossing his hands behind his head.

"Find a new wife." I suggested. "A hotter one." I said, removing my shirt and shorts.

"I would if there was one." Damon gave me a smile.

"Oh! The charm! I'm so glad I stopped falling for that when I turned 20." I said, crawling in to bed in only my bra and underwear. Damon sighed and turned the other way.

"You know, putting on clothes would really help our situation a little." Damon said, scrunching his eyes shut so he wouldn't have to look at me.

"Where's the fun in that?" I asked with a smirk, sliding under the covers and putting my arms around him, pressing up against him.

"You're evil."

"So I've been told." I pressed a kiss to his back.

"_Elena, right?" A silky voice asked from behind me. I turned around to find bright blue eyes staring down at me. I studied him questioningly. Messy raven hair, ocean blue eyes and cream-like pale skin. He was basically every girl's dream. I looked around the room for a second, taking in the flow of people in the parlor. It was Stefan's birthday party and I'd worn my cutest pale pink dress, a zipper sneaking up the middle of the dress, lace on all of the edges. _

"_Uh, yeah. Elena Gilbert." I held out my hand politely and he took it with a smirk, kissing it elegantly. _

"_Damon Salvatore." He smiled. _

"_You're a Salvatore?" I asked. Stefan never told me he had any relatives living in Mystic Falls. _

"_Stefan's older brother." He shrugged. _

"_Stefan never told me he had a brother." I said, putting one hand on my waist. _

"_Yeah, he doesn't like to brag." I gave a giggle at his facial expression, which showed that there was some bad blood between the boys. "You're his girlfriend, right? Stefan's told me about you. Though he neglected to mention how beautiful you are." _

_I felt myself blush at his comment, and almost flinched when I felt a small hand on my waist. _

"_Elena." Caroline said, looking up at Damon as if she was in a trance. "Who's your friend?" _

"_Uh, Caroline, this is Damon, Stefan's brother. Damon, my best friend Caroline." _

"_Hi." Damon gave a smile, his eyes switching between me and Caroline. _

"_Pleasure. Uh, Elena, I need you, Bonnie's having one of those things…" Caroline trailed off, and I nodded immediately. I turned back to Damon, whose eyes were trained on me. _

"_It was nice to meet you Damon." I smiled, turning around as Caroline grabbed my hand and plowed through the crowd. I felt his eyes on me but I didn't dare look back. The man was gorgeous, that was obvious, but he had this weird way about him that made me slightly jittery. _

_We walked into the bathroom to find Bonnie leaning against the counter, splashing her face with water to mask the tears that were escaping her eyes. I knew because she was whimpering and her lips were formed into a scowl. _

"_Bonnie." She looked up at us, her make up dripping down her face. _

_Bonnie and her boyfriend Luka were constantly on and off. I usually found myself in the middle of an immature fight, but if Bonnie wasn't going to listen to me about dumping his ass, I couldn't do anything but listen to her. _

"_Elena, it's over. It's really over." She sobbed. I didn't want to snort and say, 'no Bonnie, because you'll be begging him by tomorrow morning' because that would just be rude, so I settled for a small sympathetic lip pout. _

"_It's okay, sweetie, you're better than him." Caroline offered from behind me. I wrapped my arms around the dark skinned girl until she finally stopped crying. _

_As I exited the bathroom, I ran right into Stefan. _

"_Hey." I smiled. _

"_Hey." He replied, leaning against me and pressing his lips to mine. In my head I did a happy dance because this was the first time Stefan had kissed me publically since we began dating last week. _

"_Bleh." I heard from behind Stefan and creaked open my eyes to see Damon with a look of disgust on his face. "Gross." He said almost childishly. _

"_Shut up Damon." Stefan didn't even turn around to scold his brother. His eyes were on me and I loved it. "Don't you have someone to screw over?" Stefan asked rudely and I giggled. He kissed my lips cutely and turned to look at his brother with an expectant look. _

"_More like screw." Damon shrugged, winking before walking away. Stefan turned back to me and I smiled at his expression. _

"_Sorry, my brother's sort of a douche bag." Stefan apologized. _

"_He seemed nice enough when I met him." I shrugged as he wrapped his arms around me. _

"_It's 'cause you're hot and he hates me." Stefan laughed, and I joined in too. _

"_I haven't told you happy birthday yet, have I?" I asked, my fingers swirling on his covered chest. He shook his head so I leaned in to press my lips against his and whispered happy birthday to him. He kissed me once before drawing back and looking around at the party. _

"_I should go find Damon before he seduces someone." Stefan said, leaving me to plow through the crowd. _

"_God, I thought he'd never leave." Damon sighed, and I turned around to find him sitting, looking extremely bored, the most sarcastic glint in his voice. I gave an uncomfortable half-smile. _

"_What do you want?" I asked lightly, and he drew close enough so that I could smell the intoxicating scent of his cologne. _

"_Eternal life, one of those chairs that you sit on that take you up stairs and maybe an Ipad, those look nifty." He remarked as if in deep thought. He got closer as I backed away and I finally felt the wooden wall behind me. _

"_Maybe even you." _

Damon's constant snoring had me tossing and turning all night. I tried my best to block it out but it got to be too much so I delivered a swift, hard kick to his back side.

"Ow. What?" Damon shook awake, looking over at me.

"Can you let me fall asleep before you start your snoring again?" I grumbled, raising my eyebrows.

"Oh my God, Elena. I swear, I could punch you in the baby right now." He growled, pulling me against him so that he spooned me. I tangled our feet together. Usually, I would have been angry about what he just said but I was too over-tired to give a shit. I pressed back into him feeling his lips at the back of my neck.

"Hey 'Lena?" He asked.

"Yeah?"

"Could you go for sex _now_?"

"Good night, Damon." I told him, harshly, closing my eyes again. I heard a grumble in his throat but he finally gave into sleep letting me fall before he did.

_I was wasted. That would be my excuse. That's the reason why I was gripping the sheets for dear life as Damon did some unmentionable__ things with his tongue. When I was sated, he'd climbed back up my body, finding the zipper that removed my dress from the front, letting the garment slip off my body so he could assault my neck with kisses and love bites. I let far too many moans escape my lips and he pulled down his jeans. _

"_We should not be doing this." I arched my back into his body as his lips connected with the tender skin behind my ear. His hands were on my ass and I couldn't help but groan. _

"_Then stop me." I didn't._

_That was my first time._

* * *

><p><strong>Alright, I'm sorry for the extremely long wait, I know I've been MIA for a while because I was on vacation, and I had no idea what to do with this chapter. I really don't like it because it does nothing that moves the plot along, but I needed a filler chapter before she goes into labor in the next one. Thanks for the reviews and what not and I'll try to update before I go to Punta Cana on Friday but I doubt I'll get another chapter in. <strong>


	6. The Party

"Is this necessary?" I asked Caroline, who sauntered into my house at 7:30 in the morning.

"Every girl needs a baby shower." Caroline said, awfully chipper. She threw her bag on the table making a loud noise.

"Shh, Damon's sleeping and he's going to kill you if you wake him up before 12:00 on his day off." I warned her, but Caroline gave me a laugh. "I can take him, but he needs to be out of the house so we can have our party. So, go wake his ass up and get him to Alaric's house."

I sighed but when Caroline gave me a look I headed upstairs to our bedroom.

"Damon." I nudged his still body but he didn't budge. "Damon, baby. Get up." I kicked him this time and he shook awake, peaking an eye open to look at me.

"What?" He grumbled, hiding under the covers. I rolled my eyes and sat next to him and put a hand on the lump I assumed was his chest.

"Caroline is throwing a baby shower for me today and she needs you out of the house." I said quietly.

"Neurotic Barbie doll is kicking me out of our house and you're not even protesting?" He threw the covers over his head and sat up to look at me. I threw up my arms in defense.

"Hey, I told her not to wake you up but she insisted." I heard Damon growl and then he grabbed my waist and threw me over him and on to my side of the bed, then he rolled himself on top of me.

"Is she waiting for you or do you have time for a quickie?" He asked and I let out a laugh.

"No, get off of me, she's waiting." I said between giggles. Damon's hands roamed my body and tickled my sides lightly. "Damon, stop!" I crawled out of his arms and rolled off the bed. "Now get dressed, you're having a bromantic day with Ric." I smiled, leaving the room.

Damon came down ten minutes later, freshly showered and wandered over to where Caroline and I were sitting at the table.

"Morning princess." Caroline smiled up at Damon teasingly.

"Yeah." Was the only thing Damon said, ruffling her hair in order to get her angry. She swatted at him so he moved over to me and leaned down behind my chair to talk in my ear.

"Take it, easy." He whispered, kissing my cheeks and then splaying a hand on my belly. "Don't have too much fun without me." I leaned back so that he could kiss me upside down and smiled.

"Never do." I replied, watching him smile and exit the house.

"God, you two are so cute." Caroline chimed in as I put a hand on my stomach.

"The baby makes him all nice, I guess." I shrugged, looking at the guest list in front of me.

"Not all nice." Caroline sighed. Our laughs were synchronized and we finally stopped to get some work done for this afternoon.

"Bonnie, Jenna…" I looked down at the sheet, turning it over but finding nothing else. "That's it?" I asked Caroline skeptically.

"You sorta don't have friends, Elena." Caroline put up her hands in defense and giggled. "Don't worry, I just thought up a whole bunch of people who would love to come to a Salvatore baby shower." Caroline snatched the sheet from me and started frantically writing up names as I turned to the decorations.

"Let me guess, I'm decorations committee?" I asked, standing up to cross the table, picking up streamers and little party bags.

"Pfft." Caroline scoffed, putting down the pen. "You're a whale, you can barely walk. It'll take hours to put up if you do it." She said bluntly with a charming smile as she took the decorations from me.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Drive to the Mystic Bakery and pick up the cookies I ordered."

"Sure thing, Caroline." I headed for the door.

"Oh, and Elena?" She called from the parlor.

"Yes, Caroline?"

"Make it snappy." She told me, and I sighed, slamming the door shut hard.

I was sitting on the uncomfortable chair in Mystic Bakery, waiting idly for the man behind the counter to fetch Caroline's order. A familiar buzzing sounded from my pocket and I didn't even glance at the ID before answering the call.

"It's Elena, waiting for someone to save her from the wrath of Caroline…" She muttered.

"That bad?" Damon asked.

"Yup." I popped the 'p'. "What's up?"

"I was wondering how long this baby party thingy is going to be… I kinda want to come home. Ric's in the dog house and his rants are driving me to hell." He complained. I heard a shift on the other end of the phone.

"I heard that!" Alaric yelled.

"Good!" Damon yelled back, and I could tell they were in different rooms. "Asshat." He said quietly, mostly to me.

"You can't come, Damon. Girls only."

"You hear that Ric?" Damon yelled. "It's a girls only party. I think it's unfair they're inviting you and not me!"

"Shut up or you're unborn child will pay." Alaric yelled back.

"That's a little harsh." I said plainly.

"That is harsh. It's okay, I'll just make him hold you're hand when you're in labor. Be sure to break it for me."

"Alright babe. I have to go." I told him, knowing he was dreading hanging up as much as I was.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

"Ma'am. You're order is ready." The man handed me a box of cookies. I handed him the cash and he gave me a smile. "Congratulations. Boy or girl?" He asked.

"I don't know yet. I swore my husband to secrecy." I smiled, taking the change from his hand.

"Well you're husband is a lucky man, Ma'am."

"I tell him that everyday." I laughed, waving goodbye as I exited the shop.

The party finally began later that afternoon. Caroline was a hell of a party planner considering she threw one in a day. As promised, Bonnie, Jenna, Carol, Liz, Rose, Lexi and a few other girls that graduated high school with us were in the boarding house surrounding me. We talked about the baby and how everything was well planned from here on. We talked about Damon, reluctantly on my part because I knew word always got around to him.

"_Hey, why's Damon here?" Bonnie asked suspiciously. I hadn't had the courage to fess up to the crazy stupid things Damon and I had been doing behind everyone's back to anyone. Not even Caroline. _

"_Uh, he just came home for good so I'm trying to ease him into Mystic Falls high society." We laughed at how untrue the high society thing was. You weren't anywhere near high society unless you were on Carol Lockwood's secret little council. _

"_Well, let's hope he doesn't fuck something up. Stefan tells me he's an asshole. Be careful, 'Lena." Bonnie gave me a knowing look that made me slightly unsure of me and Damon's hidden relationship. She patted me on the back before disappearing into the kitchen. _

"_Elena." The familiar voice called, and I turned back, slightly disappointed that Damon hadn't even come talk to me. It was my birthday for goodness sakes. _

"_Stefan." I smiled. "Are you enjoying the party?" I asked._

"_When Damon stops telling Caroline about embarrassing childhood stories then maybe I will." He shrugged, motioning over to Damon who was sitting on the arm of Caroline's chair. I figured Caroline was the only one at the party that he knew. And could tolerate him._

"_Ooh, that sounds like an interesting conversation." I smirked. _

"_Yeah." We were both looking at them now. Caroline laughed and looked towards Stefan. _

"_Stef, you didn't tell me how much you loved The Backstreet Boys." I couldn't help but laugh. _

"_Spice Girls too, right Steffy?" Damon chimed in. My eyes were on him instantly. When his gaze fell on me, I know I'd been caught staring because he had his signature look plastered all over his face and I knew it wasn't for scheming against his little brother. I averted my gaze quickly, smiling a little and looking to Stefan. _

"_Don't tell me you liked N'sync too." Stefan rolled his eyes at us and wandered away. _

_The party was over and I'd finally closed the door on Caroline who kept telling me only buzz kills don't have sleepovers on their birthdays. I finally shooed her and turned to the mess of my house. Jeremy was out with his friends and Jenna was staying at Ric's as to avoid my birthday celebration. _

"_Caroline's right. A birthday isn't a birthday without a sleepover." His shirt had been discarded on the couch and his gaze lowered on me. I hadn't even noticed he'd stayed behind. _

"_I don't think she was talking about our kind of sleepover." I told him, picking up an empty bowl in which chips used to occupy and bringing it to the kitchen. _

"_Well, Blondie's dumb anyways so." I set down the bowl and turned to look at him. _

"_That's my friend Damon. My best friend." I said sternly, avoiding looking at his perfect body. "And I know you like her so don't even try the ignorance act." _

"_I guess she's like, my only friend in Mystic Falls." He shrugged, and I turned around to start the dishwasher. He came up behind me, trapping me between him and the counter. I turned around slowly. "But you're my friend, right?" _

"_I don't know if you can call this 'just friends'." I told him, staring into those crystal-like eyes. I'd know them from anywhere. He moved closer so that our bodies were pressed against each other as he leaned over to kiss my collar bone, which he knew was my sweet spot. _

"_I like what we have." He whispered against my neck and I closed my eyes, bracing myself on the counter. _

"_Yeah, it's… yeah." I could barely speak with him pushed up against me like that. Immediately he drew back and swiped his arm across the counter, throwing all the papers and what not on the floor. His hands returned to my waist and he lifted me up easily, moving to occupy the space between my legs. I sighed as soon as he pulled my new pink shirt over my head and threw it across the room. Our lips latched onto each others instantly, connecting fiercely. _

"_What time is it?" I asked between intense kisses._

"_I don't know." He kissed along my neck, trying to get closer to me. "Why? You have better places to be?" He asked casually between kissing me. _

_We talk quite often about the most random, unnecessary things during make out sessions and sex. I don't know how our relationship had gotten so easy going. _

"_Not really, just wondering." I shrugged, watching him wiggle out of his jeans and following suit. He took off my bra and threw it onto the stove. "That's a fire hazard Damon." _

"_Good thing I attended fire fighting school." He said, taking off my underwear as I pulled down his boxers. He pressed a kiss to my stomach. _

"_You flunked out." I frowned. I felt his teeth press down on the skin above my belly button. "Ow. You bit me." I growled, pushing him backwards and jumping off the counter. I reached over and pulled the flimsy material of my bra off the stove and onto the floor. "That's my favourite bra." _

"_It's like ten sizes too small." He told me matter-of-factly. He pulled me against him, kissing my cheek and down to behind my ear. _

"_Sorry, when did you take up a job at Victoria's Secret?" I asked as he pulled my body up his. I wrapped my legs around his waist, bending over slightly to reach his lips. _

"_Only on weekends, baby." He smirked._

_I soon found myself sitting on the counter again, legs spread out to allow for the intrusion in a very personal place that seemed reserved for only the Salvatore brothers. However sick that sounded. _

"_To be honest, I was the Spice Girls fan." Damon admitted as he thrust into me once again. My hands flew behind me to brace myself on the counter top. My head had fallen back and I could feel my long hair brushing my lower back in a tickling sensation. _

"_Yeah me too." I replied, not even laughing at his confession. _

"_Favourite Spice Girl?" He asked. _

"_Baby." We said in unison. And we both gave a laugh which instantly turned into moans as we reached a very high point in our current predicament. _

"_We're soul mates." He joked. Or at least I figured it was a joke._

"_Oh dear lord." My eyes rolled to the back of my head as my high reached me. _

"_Are your toes numb again?" He asked. It'd become this thing that only happened between Damon and I. When I reached my peak, I'd always feel my toes prickle and soon enough fall asleep. _

"_Yeah." I said, as he withdrew from me. I fell back against the cold counter top. He bent over to rest his face on my flat stomach. I knew the intensity of his exhaustion and I felt it pass through me. "Sleep here." I told him. _

"_What about your Aunt? Or your brother?" Damon had never slept over at my house before. _

"_Sneak out in the morning." I told him tiredly. _

"_Okay." He retreated, helping me down from the counter as I stumbled a little due to my toes which weren't working. He gathered our clothes and I used him like a crutch as we walked upstairs to bed for the first time. _

It was finally over. Caroline was finishing cleaning up and I was watching politely. The girls had left, and I'd been watching the mass amount of presents on the counter for the last few minutes.

"Okay, I'm going to go home." She told me, heading for the door.

"Caroline!" I stopped her, standing up. "Thank you." I walked up to her, grabbing her and hugging her. "You're a great friend." I told her honestly. I was lucky to have Caroline. No matter how dimwitted or blunt she could be, she's been there since the beginning.

"Goodnight Elena." She smiled, opening the door and disappearing into the dark Mystic Falls night.

Later that night, I felt the bed shift and a body climb in beside me. I didn't turn to face him as he spooned me, kissing the back of my shoulder sweetly.

"How was it?" He asked, knowing I was awake. He always knew when I was awake and when I was asleep.

"Too long." I said, finally turning to face him. The moonlight streamed in from the open curtains, reflecting on his blue eyes to make them even more pure looking. "I missed you." I whispered.

I don't know what it was that made me so needy. He was a man. I've lived without him before, I could surely do it again. But every minute we were apart felt like an eternity. I mentally scolded myself at how cliché and annoying I sounded. I wasn't a sixteen year old girl who thought every boy she dated was 'the one'.

"I missed you too." He whispered back, pressing his lips softly against mine. "I love you."

"I…"

He looked at me suspiciously. I couldn't form a coherent sentence at the moment.

"Elena?" He looked worried.

"Damon, can you take me to the hospital?" I asked politely.

"Baby, what's up?" He asked, sitting up and turning on the bedside lamp.

"My water just broke."

Out hospital room that Damon made sure had a good view of Mystic Falls was brightly lit. It smelled of bleach and sickness.

The contractions were coming quickly now. It had been quite a while since we'd arrived at the hospital, so now Jenna, Ric, Caroline, Bonnie and Jeremy were all waiting patiently on uncomfortable chairs across the room from my bed. Damon sat beside me, holding my hand so tightly that I couldn't feel the circulation anymore. I guess that was fair because every time another contraction came, I'd break his hand.

Another searing pain came uninvited and I grumbled, squeezing my husband's hand, and the railing of my bed with a mass amount of force. When it ended, I looked up at the nurse who'd entered the room.

"It's almost time, Elena." She said almost too excitedly. I decided I wanted to shoot her in the face.

"Better be." I growled. Damon was trying not to laugh at the angry expression on my face, so I decided to take out my anger on him.

A hard punch to his shoulder and he was gripping his bicep in shock.

"God, do pregnant ladies get super strength too?" He whined.

"Watch what I can do with my foot." I motioned to his midsection and he let go of my hand and stood up, moving away from me.

"It's your shift, Jenna." He said, pulling her out of her seat and sitting down in it. She rolled her eyes and took the seat next to me. Caroline stood, taking Bonnie's hand.

"We're going to go get some coffee for everyone." Caroline stated. "Would you like something Elena?"

"Can you get me some of that Jell-O from the cafeteria?" I asked expectantly. Bonnie laughed, looking at the other empty cups of Jell-O sitting on my counter.

"Sure thing." They said, leaving the room. Damon, Alaric and Jeremy started conversing so I looked over at Jenna.

"When this thing gets out of me, I am going to punch Damon for impregnating me." I told her. She only laughed. As soon as another contraction hit, she grabbed my hand.

The nurse entered the room once again.

"Alright Elena." She said. "You ready to start pushing?" She asked me.

"God yes." I let my head fall back against my pillow.

It was another hour of searing pain until I felt a weight immediately lifted from me. It felt like I tuned the world out or something because I could feel Damon's lips at my ear, telling me something, Jenna standing at the other side of the bed and Alaric holding her hand. I saw Caroline and Bonnie behind where Damon was sitting, smiling brightly. I saw Jeremy standing beside Bonnie, gazing down at me with a look I wasn't sure I'd ever seen.

But I couldn't hear a thing.

I couldn't hear a cry.

Something was wrong. Caroline and Bonnie stopped smiling.

Jenna and Alaric stopped holding hands.

Jeremy stopped looking at me.

Damon stopped whispering to me.

The doctor stopped moving.

My baby stopped breathing.

Jenna was the first one to talk.

"Elena."

My name felt wrong. My body felt wrong. The hand curled inside of mine felt wrong. Everything was wrong.

"I'm sorry." The doctor said, his face completely pained. "She didn't make it."

That's when my world came crashing down. My face was wet. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I closed my eyes, letting the emotional pain take me over.

"Shit." I heard Caroline mutter, sadness coloring her tone. I heard Bonnie crying on Jeremy's shoulder. I heard Jenna whisper something to Ric.

I couldn't hear Damon.

I opened my eyes once again to find everyone embracing. The doctor was getting out of his chair, moving to stand beside the nurse and talk to her in hushed tones. They hid her from me. They didn't want me to see her. Then they left the room.

I looked over to Damon but he wasn't looking at me. He was staring ahead at the wall. Expressionless. There was not a tear in Damon's eyes. His hair was displaced and his skin was pale. He wouldn't look at me.

It was over.

She died without even living.

* * *

><p><strong>That had to be the saddest thing I've ever written. It made me slightly doubt all my plans about this story but no matter how heartbreaking this was to anyone, it was the only idea I actually had when I thought of writing this story. My master plan. I hate even reading because it was so depressing. Trust me, this story is in for a ride because truly, nothing will get better. <strong>

**Sorry for the delay and thank you everyone who's been reading this story and with it since the beginning. Thanks for the reviews!**


	7. The Downfall

**Previously on 'It's All Downhill From Here': Damon and Elena are happily married and head over heels in love. Elena finds out she's pregnant and they're even more ecstatic until when the baby's being delivered, it dies. Trying to get over the loss of their daughter, Damon avoids too much contact with Elena, so they fall into a rut. Broken, Elena confides in Caroline.**

* * *

><p>"Damon!" he called, inviting me into his large, overly decorated office. "I have some uncomfortable news to tell you." He said, making a motion for me to sit down.<p>

"Don't want to hear it, Pops." I turned my back on my dad and made a move to exit the room.

"Stefan's coming home."

I immediately stopped in my tracks. The golden boy back in town.

"Though you've put more time into your work since…" Luckily he skipped over the topic because I might have had to punch my father in the face. "you're fucking things up. You're hostile and frankly impulsive. You scare the shit out of me Damon."

I didn't have words.

"Stefan's coming to Mystic Falls to clean your shit up. So I'm telling you if you fuck with him I'll kick you to the curb. He's had a rough time; he practically fled Mystic Falls courtesy of you."

I didn't think anyone was capable of being more insensitive than I was but apparently I was wrong.

"I can't stand the little prick, you know that dad." I said.

"Well then you're wife will be pleased that you're home early. Send my love to Elena." He said, exiting the room.

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>"He doesn't give a shit anymore Caroline!" I told her. The steady flow of tears down my cheeks didn't even surprise me. I've cried everyday since… what happened.<p>

"No, sweetie, he does." She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a tight embrace. "You know Damon; he doesn't know how to handle these things. You need to talk to him. I know you haven't yet, but you need to sort things out before it's too late." Caroline told me. I hadn't remembered Caroline ever being this good at advice but I thanked God I had my best friend with me.

"I cant- Caroline it just hurts so much. He's never home. He's been avoiding me for two fucking months. When I do see him we barely say two words to each other. He doesn't even want me anymore." I sobbed into her shoulder.

"Trust me, Elena. Damon's fucking smitten. There's not a chance that he doesn't want you." Caroline pulled back to look at me.

"I'm just so sick of him not being here."

A second later, the front door opened and Damon walked in, his head down, not paying attention to much of anything as he walked past the parlor and to the kitchen. Caroline stood and kissed me on the cheek before leaving the house.

I knew what I had to do.

All the lights were off but I could see Damon's silhouette moving around the kitchen. He stopped when I entered the room.

"Did you want something to eat?" He asked awkwardly. He couldn't see that I was crying. I flicked on the light and he turned to look at me for the first time in months.

"We need to talk." I almost felt naked under his gaze. His blue eyes were so intense and I knew he expected this.

"I know."

"We've been tip-toeing around each other for two months, I can't do it anymore. Everything has just built over time and I can't take it anymore."

"You need to move on." His jaw was set and his eyes were cold. That was all it took for me to snap.

"This is how I move on! This is how I deal with it. By looking at all clothes we have for her and the teddy bears and all the gifts I got from the baby shower. By sleeping on the floor in her nursery when I know you're not coming home." I sobbed. "You and your cold fucking heart may be able to lock this up and take it, but I can't. I'm not like you. I'm not that strong Damon and I never will be. I can't turn my emotions off like you. You wake up before I do. You come home when I'm asleep. We haven't talked about anything for a long time and I'm sick of it."

I could tell I was getting to him because his nostrils were flaring and he brushed a nervous hand through his raven hair. Then he walked out of the room. And he walked towards the door.

"And now you want to walk out on me?" I yelled. "I haven't seen you in a week and you come home and you want to go out? You know what; have a fucking drink for me Damon."

"You're overreacting!" He yelled back at me.

"No, I'm not!" I screamed. Then, my voice drifted to a calm and steady tone. "Damon, you've left me alone with this. You've cut yourself off from me. I know that this is how you deal with all of this but I'm not like you, I can't deal with it like that.

"Stefan's back in town." He blurted out randomly.

"I don't give a shit about Stefan! I give a shit about you!" I screamed.

"Well maybe it'd be easier if you didn't." He eyed me with such an intensity that was both harsh and disturbing that I felt like throwing up. His voice was husky, loud and steady.

"It would be a lot easier." I said quietly. "But not better. If you're not going to talk to me then I want you out of here. Tell Alaric to make some room for you on their couch because you're not sleeping here."

"It's done." He said, eyeing me before leaving the house, slamming the door shut.

That's when I broke down. Literally.

I collapsed on the floor, immediately crying again. My hands came up to cover my face and I leaned back against the wall. Everything felt so empty.

* * *

><p>"Damon, you're…" Jenna looked up at me, her eyes wide.<p>

"Crying, yeah." I walked past her and into the house. "Can I stay here for a few days?"

"Um." Jenna looked out of her element in this situation. "Yeah, of course." She stood at the door awkwardly for a second so I moved to the side table which held a bottle of Alaric's finest whisky. "I don't think that's smart." She moved to me quickly, seizing the liquid from his hands. I almost ripped her head off but when I saw the look in her eyes, a look Elena often had, I let go. "What's going on, Damon?" She asked softly, grabbing my arms and moving me to sit on the couch.

"Is Alaric home?" I asked her, slightly impatiently. The tears in my eyes were barely there but anyone could tell I was off my game. I was jittery, my eyes were slightly puffy and pink and my hair was disheveled.

"Yeah." She said quietly. "I'll send him down. Did you want anything?"

"Do you have a gram of weed and a year's supply of alcohol?" I asked her almost rudely. She gave me a disapproving look and sighed. "I thought not."

Jenna turned and left the room to go find Ric. It was only seconds later when I heard him running down the stairs. I looked up at him, barely even bothering to strain my eyes.

"So, can we get drunk and have a heart to heart?" I asked.

"Sure."

* * *

><p>The soft carpet in the nursery wasn't any more comforting than it had been before. I debated just falling asleep and never waking up. It wasn't until I heard the door creak open and a set of feet walk on in that I opened my eyes and embraced the tears that streamed heavily down my cheeks.<p>

"Do I even need to ask?" Caroline whispered, lying down next to me on the floor.

"I finally talked to him. I confronted him about everything but he kept denying that he hadn't gotten over anything. He said it'd be easier if I didn't care about him." I looked at her sadly. "Caroline, he's my entire life and he's telling me not to care about him?"

"Of course you care about him. You love him and he loves you. You're Damon and Elena. Mystic Falls power couple." She whispered.

"I told him that if he wasn't going to talk to me then I wanted him out of the house." I shuddered. "And he left."

Caroline's arms were around me instantly. "You're Damon and Elena." She repeated.

"_We're Damon and Elena." He stated simply as if that was reason enough for everything to be okay. "Doesn't that mean anything to you?" _

"_Trust me, Damon, we mean a lot to me. But my relationship with your brother means a lot to me too." _

"_So you're saying you love me, you just love Stefan more." He stated slightly angrily. His hair was ruffled and his eyes were a bright blue, the sun reflecting off them through the window. His baby blue boxers were the only clothing on him and it was sort of difficult to be mad at him when he looked so cute. And hot. I knew he was distracted by me too because every now and then his eyes floated across my nearly naked body. Clad in a simple cotton black bra and matching underwear, I sat down on his bed. _

"_I never said that." I argued. _

"_You didn't need to." He whispered. I stood now, approaching him calmly and placing one hand on his cheek. His hand fell a little unwillingly to my bare waist, which he gripped softly. _

"_You know how I feel about you." I whispered back. "You know that I love you."_

_He pulled my body against his. "You never say it so how could I?" _

"_Because we're Damon and Elena." I smiled. _

_Instantly, his lips latched onto mine and his hands found there way down to my ass. I expected this to happen. Damon and I fought all the time but by the end of the day I always found myself in his bed. He was kissing me with such intensity now that I could barely breathe. As soon as he moved his lips to my neck, I gasped for breath. He pushed me backwards onto his bed and his hands explored my body. He tore off my bra and panties within seconds, kissing my entire body. I barely even flinched when he discarded his boxers and entered me. I didn't really have the strength to do anything right now so I let him lead. I let my head fall backwards and closed my eyes as he drove into me again and again. He didn't even bother taking it slow or comforting me, which for a change was nice. _

_His groans and moans were getting to be too much for me that I finally let myself go. I felt his lips behind my ear and I felt my feet become numb from the immense pleasure. He got off of me and rolled over to lie next to me. _

"_I'm sorry I yelled at you." He turned my face to meet his. "I love you." He whispered, his breath ghosting over my lips. _

"_I'm sorry too. I know I'm not a very good-"_

"_Girlfriend?" He asked. I gave a slight smile before continuing. _

"_But I really do love you." _

"_I know." He kissed me on the lips sweetly before cuddling me to sleep._

**ONE WEEK LATER**

"Excuse me." I quietly plowed through the Grill to get to the bar. Jeremy looked at me for a split second and knew something was wrong. I avoided his look, keeping my head down. "Just give me a beer, Jer." I said, brushing my hair back.

"Who died?" He asked suspiciously, opening the bottle and placing it in front of me.

"Not who, what. Me and Damon's relationship."

"You're kidding, Elena." Jeremy shook his head. "You guys fight all the time."

"Not like this." I told him.

"What was it about?" Jeremy asked, pouring someone a drink.

"The baby mostly. The fact that he's never home, and avoids me like I'm the plague." I said. "Can we not do this?" I asked him.

"Yeah, sorry." He leaned over to tilt my head up and look at him. "It'll work out, Elena. It always does." He drew back and walked away to deal with another customer.

"Trouble in paradise?" A voice leaned in close to my ear. I was about to slap him away but I picked up on the familiar tone. The familiar voice.

"Stefan."

"Miss me?" He took a seat next to me, leaning his elbow on the counter to look at me.

"Not really, nope."

Stefan only laughed.

"Look, Elena, I heard about what happened, and I'm really sorry." He said almost awkwardly. "I also heard my brother isn't handling it right, but, Damon's and idiot, we all know that."

"He's having a hard time." I defended Damon.

"It's understandable. But if Damon loved you, he'd be with you, not avoiding you." Stefan told me. He looked the same. Nothing had changed at all since he was last in town, some 5 years ago.

"I'm not going to take relationship advice from you, Stefan Salvatore. Damon loves me, you know how he is. He just has a hard time dealing with things."

"You're not doing so well either." Stefan stated a little too blunt for his own good.

"I'm fine, Stefan. Please. Go." I nodded towards the exit and looked back to him.

"I'll see you around, 'Lena." He shrugged, standing up and walking away from me. My head fell onto the bar in a frustrated scowl. I had nothing going for me now. No baby, no Damon, no Stefan, no Damon… I missed him like fucking hell. Even not talking to him was better than this. But I knew that was not at all healthy for our relationship, if we still had one.

"You were right." A husky, uncertain voice sounded from behind me. My lips parted and my eyes closed. When I finally looked up at him I noticed he was as disheveled as I was. His raven hair was too messy for its own good. His blue eyes were rimmed with black circles. He came and sat down beside me. I guess we were sort of ironic in a way. He was everything that was bad, my deep dark drug. I was the complete opposite. His bright light, his white drug. Our personalities matched almost too well. We were too stubborn for our own good, always wanting to be right. We were blunt and sarcastic. Witty and romantic. We were perfect. We **were **perfect.

"I know." I almost didn't trust my voice. It came out as rough as his did. "But about what?" I asked.

"I don't know how to handle things." He said, reaching out to wave over a bartender. He ordered himself a bourbon before he turned back to look at me. "I'm a wreck without you, Elena. I can barely tie my own shoe without wanting to double over and die. I can't handle losing things that I love. I lost my mother, I lost Stefan, and when I lost Stefan it felt like I lost my father." He looked down and I could tell he was suppressing tears. "And I lost our baby." He whispered. "And now I'm losing you." His eyes then flickered up to mine and he wiped away whatever tear was in the midst of forming. "I'm always drunk because it helps me stop thinking about everything but you're right. I pretend I don't have emotions but the problem is, I have too many. I love too much. I hate too much. It's not healthy, and I need help. I need you." He whispered the last part and my heart almost broke more than it already had.

"That's what the problem is." I told him. "We love each other too much. We're so wrong for each other but it just feels so right. We can't keep tip-toeing around the subject like there's nothing to be said. There's so much to be said. There's so much that we can't fix. There's so much that I don't want to." He took in a large breath as if I'd just stabbed him. And I probably had. Right through the heart. "At least not yet." I stood up, grabbing my purse and lying some cash down on the counter. "Goodbye Damon."

* * *

><p>I didn't even try to hold it in when she left. It was like the gaping hole in my heart just got ten sizes bigger. I felt like an idiot, tears running down my cheek, falling into the bourbon that I was no longer sipping, but chugging. She was right. She's always right.<p>

My phone began buzzing and no matter how much I didn't want to pick it up, I looked at the caller ID and sighed.

"Stefan, this really isn't a good time."

"I know." His voice echoed oddly. "But I think you've ignored me for long enough."

I turned around, catching a glimpse of his sarcastic glare.

"Hello brother." He shut his phone, smirking. I closed my phone and pocketed it. "It's been a while."

* * *

><p><strong>Wow I'm way too sorry. It's been like, a month or something since I last updated. I have a super excuse though. School. I've been so busy with school and basketball and I'm trying to plow my way through Supernatural (watched to season three in one month, I'm pretty proud of myself). I'm sorry I neglected you all but I'm backish and I hope it wont take me that long to finish the story. Only three more chappies and maybe an epilogue if I have much to write about. Now I know you guys were concerned about me saying it wont get much better, but I designed the story like this. I designed this rut. No relationships are perfect and I honestly think a Delena relationship will not be all smooth sailing because these two people are too much alike and too different. I don't care if you hate me by the time this story is done but everything isn't always going to be okay. I promise one way or another you will enjoy the final chapters of this story. Just maybe in a different way than how you enjoyed the beginning of the story. Honestly, thank you for your patience, if I was you, I would have killed someone because I as well hate waiting for story updates so it's understandable. I just hope you stick around for the end. <strong>


	8. The Fight

"What do you want?" I sipped my drink idly, barely looking at the blonde, green eyed man beside me. A slight, dark laugh escaped him and I had to restrain a shiver from the utter creepiness of every movement he made.

"I want to have a drink with my brother. Catch up. It's been years, Damon, I almost missed you." Stefan said pathetically, flagging down a waiter and ordering a scotch. "I mean, what really happened after you stole Elena from me?"

"I know it's pretty much your job to find me at my lowest point and make my bad day even worse but, I'm really not feeling it right now Stefan, and unless you want us to get kicked out of this family establishment for getting in an altercation, shut the fuck up about Elena." I turned to look at him, giving him the worst glare I could sum up.

"Wow, did you go back to school or something after I left? You sound like such an… educated little pussy." His face softened and he smirked. And if I hadn't turned Stefan into the most evil villain out there.

I offered a short laugh. "Don't push me Stefan, you know how stupid I can be when I'm drunk."

Stefan grinned, a sour look in his eyes. "Apparently so does Elena."

My fist connected hard and eagerly to Stefan's face. As I drew back, I reassured myself that I'd hurt Stefan more than I did myself because his nose was bleeding and despite what he might have said, I saw those tears. I pushed back my chair and made a move to leave but I felt myself being pulled and shoved backwards a few steps.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." I whipped out of his grasp, vaguely aware of the eyes on us.

"Come on!" He drew me back. "One more for fucking your wife."

"What are you trying to do?" I asked angrily. "What satisfaction does this give you?" I pushed him away from me. He swung then, connecting hard to my jaw. I could taste the blood oozing from my lips.

"I get to see you struggle like I did!" He shouted, and we'd attracted more eyes.

"Hey, guys, take it outside!" A manager yelled fiercely. Stefan and I ignored him, my eyes stuck on his cruel ones.

"What's the point?" I said softly. "She hates me now. She hates me because I'm not like you." I whispered.

"Don't be ridiculous, Damon. She never loved me like she loved you. I see it now. I wasn't what she wanted."

"No, but you were what she needed. You were the emotional relationship. I was the sex, the thrill. I was nothing but a good time."

"If that were true, you wouldn't have that ring on your finger." Stefan growled. "It doesn't matter what she needs. She wanted you more than she needed me. And then she grew to need you. I never pegged you for an idiot, brother. You had a fall out. Who doesn't? But you're Damon and Elena." Stefan said, as if it was the most obvious, rational thing on the planet. And I guess we were the most rational thing.

The last punch I swung, good and hard.

"That was for fucking with me." Stefan crouched over in pain, holding his bloodied nose.

I heard the front door open and I quickly stood, waiting for Caroline to walk through the parlor with ice cream.

Instead, standing there with a bloodied fist and lip was Damon.

"Da- What happened to you?" I rushed to him in concern, taking his hand to examine, then dropping it and placing my hand on his chin, tilting his head to see the cuts on his face as if he were a seven year old boy, and I his mother.

He shrugged out of my examination and flinched a little.

"I- uh, got into a fight." He told me, squinting a little.

I hit his arm hard and he winced, grabbing where I hit him automatically.

"Ow." He stated ridiculously.

"Fuck, why are you such an idiot Damon?" I dragged him to the bathroom, grabbing a wet cloth and dabbing it over all his cuts and scrapes.

"I was defending your honor." He told me, wincing as I applied a bit more pressure on his knuckles.

"Yeah well, if I'm going to have to keep doing this after you 'defend my honor', I'd rather you not." I said, bandaging his hand then moving onto his face.

"Whatever. Stefan was asking for it."

I hit him again.

"You got into a fight with your brother?" I scolded.

"Well… yeah." He said quietly. Our eyes met for a brief moment, and then he looked down. I dabbed at a cut on his face, removing the blood. It would leave a scrape but there shouldn't be a scar.

"So did you kick his ass?" I asked after a long moment's pause. He offered a smile, as did I.

"Would you expect any less of me?"

I gave another slight smile but it faded soon enough so I looked down. He moved his finger under my chin to lift it up. My eyes met his almost curiously, sadly. Tears welled in my eyes slowly as I thought of our current relationship.

"When did things get so fucked up, Damon?" I asked. His thumb swooped down to catch the tear falling slowly down my cheek. Some may have called me ridiculous. A cry baby possibly. But until they go through what I did, they'll never understand. When you love one man so much that you think you'll die when you're away from him, even for a moment, life is just too hard. And when your marriage falls apart more quickly than a blink of an eye, it's even worse. When something you've never had, when someone you've never got to hold, dies, a part of you dies too. So the overwhelming moment when the person you love most in the world ends up in the palm of your hands, you can't help but want to fix it. I can't help but want him back. After everything, it all made me realize I just can't live without him.

"I don't know, baby." He whispered, wrapping his large arms around my small torso, pulling me against him. I dug my face into his chest, not looking back for even a second. I missed being in his embrace. Being next to him. Being able to talk to him. "I don't know." He repeated.

I drew back a little to look up at him again, to catch his ocean eyes in my dark ones. I was about to open my mouth and talk, but his husky, quiet voice interrupted my thoughts.

"I was an idiot. Leaving you alone to deal with everything like that. I was an even bigger idiot about the baby. It did hurt me. It hurt me a lot to know that our child wouldn't even have a chance to live. That someone I created so perfectly in my mind, never even took a breath. I cried for weeks. When you were asleep, I'd get up at 3:00 in the morning and drive around town until I couldn't drive anymore because I couldn't see. Because I was crying. I acted like an asshole. It did faze me. Of course it did. But the fact that I played it off like that, the fact that I wasn't with you when you needed me, it was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I miss you. And I need you. And I want you back."

My eyes dropped from his, to his lips, then back up to his eyes as I so often did.

My lips slammed against his so quickly that I think I might have bruised them. I blinked my eyes shut, feeling Damon fall into the kiss. He pulled my body closer to his, crushing me in the process. I didn't give a rat's ass. He turned us around, and in one smooth motion, lifted me up on the counter, pushing me back against the mirror. With one hand I grabbed at his hair, and with the other, I clawed at his shirt until he tore it off. I caught sight of his body and practically melted at his touch. He didn't know how much I missed him too. It was his turn now, and he tugged off my shirt in one quick motion, leaving me in a lacy black bra and my tight skinny jeans. His forehead rested on mine and he gave a little smirk.

"Did you buy this for me?" He asked, being his snarky self. I nodded against him, sighing in pleasure as his hands traced over my lacy bra. "When?" He asked, his hands gliding down my tan stomach to my jeans, spreading my legs easily and resting his hands on my thighs.

"Before," I swallowed "everything." I heard him growl a little and I pulled him against me, clawing at his abs violently. He smiled against my lips.

"Please tell me there's matching panties." He whispered. I nodded quickly, pulling his lips back to mine in a frenzy. I fingered the buckle on his jeans seductively, my hand barely brushing over his sensitive spots and I felt him shiver.

"But I'm not wearing them." I raised an eyebrow.

He dove at me, grabbing my waist and pulling it against his, my back still leaning against the bathroom mirror. His hands braced themselves beside my head, catching me in between his arms. His tongue slid into my mouth swiftly, finding mine in a quick dance.

"Fuck," I whispered. "You know this isn't going to fix our marriage?" I said in between pants, allowing him to assault my chest. Yet my hands grabbed at him violently, begging for him to continue.

"We can stop." He suggested. We look at each other for a long moment. Then we burst out into laughter, finding our way back to each other's mouths. There was no way of stopping the inevitable, especially once it had already started.

_The punching wouldn't seize, no matter how much I cried for them to stop. Fists flew everywhere and I sunk down against the corner of the room, screaming at them both to stop. _

_It was a day or so after I told Stefan I didn't want to be with him and I was shriveled into the wall of Damon's apartment. The two brothers didn't bother stopping on my account. I was screaming and crying and begging but Stefan had come in angrily interrupting a sweet welcome kiss between Damon and I, immediately getting into it with Damon. _

"_How could you, Damon!" He'd resorted to anger after being his concerned self didn't work. He pushed his brother backwards, Damon stumbling a few steps before throwing him the wildest look I'd ever seen on any man's face before. He was so pissed that it had scared the hell out of me. _

"_Stefan, please!" I'd tried to reason but the sound of Damon's fist connecting with his brother's face had cut me off. _

_Stefan had put up a good fight against his older brother, he'd almost beat Damon down, but as soon as Damon saw the advantage he took it. He'd got in a good uppercut and continued beating his brother down. _

_Alaric busted through the door, obviously able to hear the fight and yelling from the hallway. He was pulling them apart, dodging punches himself, pushing Damon back against a wall, and placing one hand on Stefan's chest. _

_Stefan tried to worm his way through but Alaric pushed him farther backwards. Ric looked back at his best friend incredulously. _

"_Damon, how could you!" He yelled. "While she's in the room? What were you thinking?" _

_Damon immediately looked guilty, attempting to move towards me. Alaric pushed him good into the wall, probably leaving a dent where his head had hit. _

"_Watch yourself, Damon." Ric said. "You too." He looked back to Stefan, who angrily slapped his restraint away and left the apartment, slamming the door hard behind him. I didn't move, mostly because I couldn't but I didn't even attempt moving at this point. _

"_What the hell, Damon!" Alaric expressed his disappointment in such a teacher-like way. I was still crying like a baby after watching my ex and current boyfriends who were also brothers, pound down on each other. I knew how deep I had gotten in. It was my fault the boys would never love each other like they used to. I'd broken the brotherly bond they'd built up after their mother had died, and now I'd ruined everything. I cried even harder after telling myself that. I hugged my knees, lying my head down so the two men talking in a hushed, angry tone wouldn't see me. I finally felt the cool, calming hands that often touched me elsewhere, rub my legs. He pushed my legs apart slowly and gently so that he could see my face, and he dropped his forehead against mine. His hands were at my thighs, his head meeting mine, curling into my body. _

"_I'm so sorry, baby." I knew Ric had left because I heard the door slam shut once again. _

_I sniffled, rubbing my hands across my face to hide from him but he drew my arms away. I let my head fall back against the wall behind me, and he'd positioned himself so that he leaned slightly over me, still kneeling and his hands were on either side of my face, his body between my legs. _

"_I'm sorry." He whispered again. How could someone you love cause you so much pain by just being with you? He caught the tears falling down my cheeks with his thumbs, wiping them away and rubbing my face in the process. _

"_I shouldn't have…" His voice carried off. "I'm sorry, baby."_

"_You're not sorry." I whispered back. "You enjoyed it. You're just sorry that I was here to see it. You lost it, Damon." He was in deep thought for a second and then nodded. _

"_You're right. So leave if that's what you want." Damon looked at me darkly, knowing exactly what I'd do. I knocked his hands away and stood, giving him a tired glare before turning and walking towards his bedroom. He knew I couldn't leave, that's why he suggested it. If Damon Salvatore wasn't the cruelest man I knew, then I'd be crazy. I walked slowly, but I finally reached his bed and I collapsed on it, tired from crying._

_I heard his footsteps and he joined me, wrapping his arms around my waist, drawing me closer to him. _

"_I love you." He whispered. "You're right. You always are. I shouldn't have fought him with you right there. That wasn't fair to you." _

"_No. It wasn't." I said, my back facing him, curling up into a ball. "Damon you can't fix everything, I want you to know that. I'm not going to always give into you. I'm mad at you right now. But I love you too fucking much to get up and leave. But what if I leave one day? Or what if you do?" _

"_You love me too fucking much. It's the same for me." He whispered into my ear, turning of all the lights a second later. _

"_I love you." _

"I love you." He blurted out. "I've always loved you and I always will love you."

He finally rested inside me, unmoving. I was sitting on the edge of the counter, still in the bathroom. My hair was disheveled because his hands were gripping it, my lips slightly parted at the sensation I hadn't felt in months. His hands were on my waist, his forehead resting against mine. I could feel his eyes on me but mine were closed. I tipped my head back against the bathroom mirror so his head moved to the crook of my neck, kissing and biting at the skin there.

"Damon." I sighed, attempting to get him to move. I arched my back a little and he finally did as I asked. His skin against mine didn't feel so foreign anymore. It felt like when we were younger, when I didn't belong to just him, but Stefan too. But I never really belonged to Stefan. From the minute I met Damon and on, I've always been precisely his.

"Open your eyes." Damon whispered in my ear against the thrashing of our bodies.

When my chocolate brown eyes met the ocean of his, I sighed in contentment.

**I'm an awful person I know. It's been so long since I updated and I'm really sorry. I've been so busy with school and sports and homework and I'm attempting to plow through Supernatural episodes (midway season five, be proud) and with Halloween, everything has been super crazy. **

**Again, sorry, hope all of you enjoyed this chapter. **


	9. The Rain

I fell off of him slightly unwillingly and rolled beside him, panting slightly. My tan, sweaty body seemed to finally stop quivering so I turned on my back to look up at the ceiling. He had moved to lie on his stomach, two of his fingers walking up my flat stomach and tracing the soft plains of my skin. I found out my lip was bleeding from where I had bit too hard. Or maybe Damon had bit too hard. Damon moved slowly towards my mouth to lick off the remaining blood pooling at my lips. He looked down at me with a sort of adoration. I figured he wasn't drunk anymore but neither of us spoke up about the pressing issues.

My eyelashes fluttered as soon as his fingers found the soft spot in the middle of my stomach. He was leaning slightly over top of me, his blue eyes layered with desire as he dipped his lips to graze my neck, my collarbone, then up the short distance to the back of my ear where I practically trembled in my skin. My eyes fluttered closed at how gentle Damon was being after the previous events. Every movement was slow and drawn out, just a caress. I arched my back at his touch, making more physical contact with him.

He finally let himself relax, partially on top of me, but most of his weight shifted on the bed. He made a sound of satisfaction before speaking.

"I missed that." He sighed, looking up at the ceiling as well, his hand rested on my inner thigh.

"Me too." I agreed, looking over at him. His gaze fell to mine and he gave a brief smile.

"I'm serious about this Elena. I want us to be us again. I want to come back and be with you. I know it will be hard, but I want to. We're worth it." I practically melted at his words. Damon definitely knew his charm capabilities.

"I am too. I miss you. I need you home. I can't keep pretending like I don't need you because it's killing me to be away from you." I sighed. "Get your stuff and come home."

"In a little while." He whispered, kissing my shoulder.

_I couldn't help the loud laugh that escaped me. What we were doing was completely ridiculous. I don't know how he talked me in to any of this. Damon ran quickly, dragging me along with him, practically pulling my arm out of its socket. The rain pounded hard against the pavement, splashing up and hitting us. We were soaked, in nothing more than jeans and a t-shirt. We were in the middle of a quiet, empty road, nothing but street lights illuminating it. Damon finally stopped running and turned to look at me. _

"_What are we doing, Damon?" I squinted at him through the rain. He used the hand he was still holding to draw me close so that our bodies were touching. His hands fell to my hips, rubbing the bare skin below my shirt and above my jeans._

"_We're dancing in the rain." He stated simply, swaying us back and forth. I laughed._

"_You brought me out here to dance with me? Come on, Damon." I resisted him, pulling away. "You can do better than that." I was milking it. Damon had been trying to get my attention, to get me to go out with him since we'd had sex that one mistake of a night. He gave me flowers, he showed up at my doorstep, he often called my cell, but I did the best I could to steer clear of Damon like everyone had warned me. I figured he was Alaric when he knocked on my door tonight, but he stood there looking awfully handsome, dressed in all black. His skin and eyes contrasted with the dark colors he wore. He'd easily slung off his jacket and seized my arm, pulling me out into the street. _

"_Come on, Elena. Humor me." He looked a lot less dangerous at the moment. His eyes were innocent , his entire body soaked from the rainstorm. _

"_Why should I?" I asked, pulling away from him again as he attempted to grip my arm once more. _

"_I'll make it worth your while." He stated, raising his eyebrow in order to entice me. _

"_Not good enough." I replied, crossing my arms at my chest. _

"_Because opposed to my baby brother, I'm actually fun and no matter how much you deny it, you like being around me. When would Stefan drag you out in the rain just to dance?" Damon questioned, moving closer to me. It was only us in the streets, no cars, no people, just us. "How often does Stefan tell you how beautiful you are, how gorgeous your eyes are? He stepped closer and this time I didn't draw back when he touched me. I stayed completely still, my arms still crossed. "How bright your smile is? That just hearing your laugh makes me laugh?" Damon gripped my waist once more and pulled my against him. My upper body was leaning slightly back but our hips still rubbed against each other. He moved one hand to gently brush back the hair that fell in front of my eyes. That hand dropped to the side of my face, then my neck. "How cute you are. All the fucking time." _

_I was paralyzed. Everything about Damon Salvatore is bad. He cheats, he lies, he fucks up. But there was one thing I was certain of in this moment. Damon wasn't lying. There was no way someone with that look in their eyes, that look on their face, could lie. _

"_No." I said, blinking rapidly. I saw a blink of emotion in Damon's eyes. Something you wouldn't have caught if you weren't truly paying attention. In that brief moment, he really cared and he was really let down. "No, he's never told me any of that."_

_Damon smiled, untangling my arms and wrapping one around his neck and grabbing hold of the other, while his other hand rested on my waist. We swayed back and forth, and eventually, he drew me out and spun me. I gave a little giggle and we began to laugh, dancing in the middle of the street, rain pouring heavily down our backs. _

_The last time he spun me, he drew me in extremely close. Then, without warning, he grabbed me and kissed me. It was tender and sweet and I practically swooned at how gentle he was being. I basically dove into the kiss, pushing closer to him, my hair tangling in his dripping hair. One of his hands snaked down to hover over my ass, one of Damon's favourite parts of my body, while his other hand pulled at my hair. I was completely and utterly lost in him. _

"You want to know the day I fell in love with your fine ass?" He asked, squeezing my ass after asking. I laughed and nodded, asking for him to continue. "When we danced in the rain."

"That early?" I asked, slightly amazed. That was only two weeks into knowing him.

"That early." He said. "It was your stubborn-ness. I've always admired that about you." His ocean blue eyes shifted to my body and then back up to me. "Plus, you're smokin'." He winked.

"What are you, twelve? I don't think anyone says that word anymore, Damon." I giggled, stretching my arms and legs out. Damon laughed too, biting my shoulder out of annoyance.

"I have a serious question." He stated, though the facial expression he wore indicated that it wasn't that serious. I'd prodded him forward with an 'okay' so he'd rolled onto his elbows to look at me. "Who was your first?" he asked.

I frowned for a moment, not exactly understanding the question until I realized what he was talking about. I took a breath and evaluated the question accordingly. I thought back to Stefan's birthday party a while ago. We would have probably had sex that night if I wasn't so plastered. I had a boyfriend before Stefan as well. I'd dated Matt for a short period of time, which ended when my parents had died. I'd met Stefan and had fallen so easily, so quickly. And then there was Damon. I didn't know if I sounded slightly pathetic to Damon. If I ever was pathetic in his eyes. Damon was intimidating. Damon was obviously a womanizer, this wasn't news. He'd had sex many times before me. Mostly because he was older than me, but also because he didn't exactly have the same values as I did. Until that night. Until Stefan's birthday party. I thought about what happened between me and the mysterious and sexy Salvatore that night. Nothing good. I'd let him go down on me and then we'd had sex. Had I fooled him? The pain lasted briefly, which I held in by biting on my lip extremely hard, plus the liquor helped. I guess I had fooled him.

"Damon," I started. "you were my first."

His pupils dilated and he frowned. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself. Then his eyebrows raised and his lips parted and he recalled our first encounters.

"But…" He stopped. "Seriously?" I nodded and he scratched at the stubble on his cheek.

"I'm sorry. We were really hammered. I wouldn't want your first to be like that."

"Damon, I don't care." I stated. "It was you."

He smiled and crawled on top of me to kiss my lips sweetly. "You're perfect, you know that?" he smiled against my lips, dragging his across my cheek and down my neck and behind my ear. He'd whispered 'perfect' a few more times and then brought his face up to look at me.

"I wish nothing had ever happened. Nothing bad. I wish we'd never lost her." He blinked. "The worst thing in the world is to see the only person you love in pain."

"I'm not in pain anymore, Damon. Maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe it was meant to be. Like we are. If I'd never met Stefan, I'd never have met you. So I'm glad I met him." I sighed. "But I'm not sad anymore. I've been sad my whole life, I'm tired of it." I looked up at his beautiful face. "At the moment, nothing matters but you and me."

"Don't you ever think how much better your life would have been without meeting me. It would have been so much easier."

"Remember what I said? Easier, yes. Better, no." I thought back to our huge fight over the baby. He kissed me more passionately this time.

"You're still young."

"And you aren't?"

"Not anymore. I'm 32, 'Lena. You're not even 24."

"So what? Age is just a number."

"You have to say that, you're the younger one." Damon stated.

"I got married young, what does it really matter to anyone else? We're what, nine years apart? I wouldn't care if we were 20 years apart. We're us. We're Damon and Elena."

This time, when Damon started kissing me, he didn't stop.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow. This is the most awful piece of shit i've ever written. i am so sorry, i havent updated for months. this had to be a filler chapter because i was running out of things to write. i really didn't want to write this when i would sit down to do it so i constantly put it off. im sort of a loser with no life so i've been watching a shit load of television for the past while. i finished catching up with Supernatural a while ago (you guys excited for tomorrow's episode?) and i'd sped through Dollhouse which is a Joss Whedon work of art (if you didn't know because i hadn't heard of it until i got netflix). Now i'm in the middle of catching up with The Mentalist because i've been slacking and it's an amazing show. i just havent found much time to watch it this season but i'mm making my way through it. I've also started watching Dexter so that's keeping my occupied. So... i have no life. BUT WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS TVD EPISODE. OHMYGOD MY POOR HEART. I honestly wasnt expecting (SPOILER ALERT FOR THE NEW DEAL) a damon elena kiss. i really didn't think we'd get one because it was a little far fetched or something, i dont remember my logic but holy shit, was that amazing or what? I thought it was well executed and the flirting was perfect and i just loved how he was walking away annd then he's like, fuck it and kissed her. i'm still on a high from that. my mother and father and sisters think i'm insane. though if i can say so, my mother was slightly happy because even though she doesn't know half the shit going on, she's team damon (she says he's the hottest). so there was a little updateof what's going on in my stupid life, which you probably dont care about. next chapter will be the last but i think i may start another fic. depends how busy i am with volleyball season at school. GUYS! WE GOT A FUCKING KISSSSSSSS!<strong>


End file.
